And we're back! WrestleMania is in the rearview mirror and it's time to start a new season and build to WrestleMania 38. What's the best way to do that? Have what is a more obvious than usual epilogue to the story of WrestleMania 37 by renaming Backlash into "WrestleMania Backlash." It's like they're saying the quiet part out loud, except amazingly less racist than when that phrase is traditionally used. I guess that's a little progress for WWE? That and watching an entire stadium boo Hulk Hogan at WrestleMania 37. Chef's kiss, everyone.
WrestleMania was a highlight for being in front of an actual audience again (holy shit was that nice), but more importantly we here at Quixo were able to safely watch wrestling in our offices together again without killing each other. The psychotronic practices have returned! Double dipping in the guacamole is still off the table, but come on, that was off the table in the beforetimes.
I'm not great with reviews (hence why we stopped that shit last summer), but as for WWE WrestleMania 37, it was delightful. It was great to see Drew McIntyre (who of course main evented night two of EmptyMania 36 last year) be able to be the first one to enter an arena with audience first. He may have lost his match, but goddamn man, drink it in. Bad Bunny was surprisingly good at this whole wrestling thing and we may have a new star (hopefully?) with Damian Priest, and night two's main event ending with Don Roman pinning both Edge and Daniel Bryan was perfection and everything #DonRomanisPleased has been hashtagging for. But the best part in my opinion was Bianca Belair and Sasha Banks working the main event of night one and killing it. Banks was amazing (as usual) and Bianca is a star. Please enjoy this lovely highlight video I found on the interwebs:
I'm not crying, you're crying. And I lied, I'm totally crying. Plus, more evidence that nu-metal makes everything better. Everything. Wrestling has been actively proving this for 20 years.
As for the future, now that nature is finally healing and all AEW recently announced they'll be returning to touring in July (just in time for Milwaukee's currently-scheduled-in-August episode of AEW Dynamite) and current rumors put WWE returning in either July or August. MLW (Major League Wrestling) will be coming to Vice TV soon and will return to touring in July also with a taping in the old ECW Arena in Philadelphia - hopefully they'll return to Milwaukee soon afterwards since we missed their show in the beforetimes of July 2019 (they'll be in Chicago in November so that's pretty close) . NWA seems to be staying based in Georgia which admittedly is part for their overall aesthetic, but hopefully at least NWA Worlds Heavyweight Champion Nick Aldis and NWA Worlds Women's Champion Serena Deeb can start making the rounds again? All this is to say: wrestling is coming back to you. Get your shots and go see some sweaty performers put on a show for you. Don't fuck it up by attending a show and infecting everyone. We want to retire the #quixotine joke just as much as you want us to.
Let's check in with those final standings of the Quixotronic Wrestling Challenge of Shame...
Previously on Fanboy Wrestletronic…
Standings going into NXT Takeover Stand & Deliver and WWE WrestleMania 37 :
First Place: Kyle 65.8% (102-53)
Second Place: Tim 60.4% (64-42)
Third Place: Ryan 28.9% (24-59)
NXT Takeover Stand & Deliver results :
Toni Storm vs Zoey Stark
Your Winner : Zoey Stark
Kyle: n/a (0-0)
Ryan: n/a (0-0)
Tim: n/a (0-0)
KUSHIDA vs Pete Dunne
Your Winner : Pete Dunne
Kyle: KUSHIDA (0-1)
Ryan: KUSHIDA (0-1)
Tim: KUSHIDA (0-1)
#1 Contendership Gauntlet Eliminator Match : Bronson Reed vs Cameron Grimes vs Dexter Lumis vs Isaiah Scott vs LA Knight vs Leon Ruff
Your Winner : Bronson Reed
Kyle: Dexter Lumis (0-2)
Ryan: -- (0-2)
Tim: Cameron Grimes (0-2)
NXT UK Title Match : Tommaso Ciampa vs WALTER ©
Your Winner, and STILL NXT UK Champion : WALTER
Kyle: WALTER (1-2)
Ryan: Tommaso Ciampa (0-3)
Tim: Tommaso Ciampa (0-3)
NXT Men's Tag Team Titles Match : Grizzled Young Veterans (James Drake & Zack Gibson) vs Legedo del Fantasma (Joaquin Wilde & Raul Mendoza) vs MSK (Nash Carter & Wes Lee)
Your Winners, and NEW NXT Men's Tag Team Champions : MSK
Kyle: MSK (2-2)
Ryan: Grizzled Young Veterans (0-4)
Tim: Legado del Fantasma (0-4)
NXT Women's Title Match : Raquel González vs Io Shirai ©
Your Winner, and NEW NXT Women's Champion : Raquel González
Kyle: Io Shirai (2-3)
Ryan: Io Shirai (0-5)
Tim: Io Shirai (0-5)
Drake Maverick & Killian Dain vs Fandango & Tyler Breeze
Your Winners : Drake Maverick & Killian Dain
Kyle: n/a (2-3)
Ryan: n/a (0-5)
Tim: n/a (0-5)
NXT Cruiserweight Title(s) Ladder Match : Jordan Devlin © vs Santos Escobar ©
Your Winner, and TRUE NXT Cruiserweight Champion : Santos Escobar
Kyle: Jordan Devlin (2-4)
Ryan: -- (0-6)
Tim: Santos Escobar (1-5)
NXT Women's Tag Team Titles Match : The Way (Candice LeRae & Indi Hartwell) vs Ember Moon & Shotzi Blackheart ©
Your Winners, and STILL NXT Women's Tag Team Champions : Ember Moon & Shotzi Blackheart
Kyle: Ember Moon & Shotzi Blackheart (3-4)
Ryan: Ember Moon & Shotzi Blackheart (1-6)
Tim: Ember Moon & Shotzi Blackheart (2-5)
NXT North American Title Match : Bronson Reed vs Johnny Gargano ©
Your Winner, and STILL NXT North American Champion : Johnny Gargano
Kyle: Dexter Lumis (3-5)
Ryan: Johnny Gargano (2-6)
Tim: Johnny Gargano (3-5)
NXT Men's Title Match : Karrion Kross vs Finn Bálor ©
Your Winner, and NEW NXT Men's Champion : Karrion Kross
Kyle: Karrion Kross (4-5)
Ryan: Finn Bálor (2-7)
Tim: Finn Bálor (3-6)
Unsanctioned Match : Adam Cole vs Kyle O'Reilly
Your Winner : Kyle O'Reilly
Kyle: Kyle O'Reilly (5-5)
Ryan: Adam Cole (2-8)
Tim: Kyle O'Reilly (3-7)
WWE WrestleMania 37 Pre-Show Smackdown results :
WWE Smackdown Tag Team Titles Match : Alpha Academy (Chad Gable & Otis Dozovic) vs Los Mysterios (Dominik & Rey Mysterio) vs Street Profits (Angelo Dawkins & Montez Ford) vs Dolph Ziggler & Robert Roode ©
Your Winners, and STILL WWE Smackdown Tag Team Champions : Dolph Ziggler & Robert Roode
Kyle: Los Mysterios (5-6)
Ryan: -- (2-9)
Tim: -- (3-8)
Andre the Giant Battle Royal
Your Winners : Jey Uso
Kyle: Baron Corbin (5-7)
Ryan: -- (2-10)
Tim: -- (3-9)
WWE WrestleMania 37 results :
WWE World Title Match : Drew McIntyre vs Bobby Lashley ©
Your Winner, and STILL WWE World Champion : Bobby Lashley
Kyle: Drew McIntyre (5-8)
Ryan: -- (2-11)
Tim: Drew McIntyre (3-10)
#1 Contendership Match : Billie Kay & Carmella vs Dana Brooke & Mandy Rose vs Lana & Naomi vs Natalya & Tamina vs the Riott Squad (Liv Morgan & Ruby Riott)
Your Winners : Natalya & Tamina
Kyle: Riott Squad (5-9)
Ryan: -- (2-12)
Tim: Riott Squad (3-11)
Cesaro vs Seth Rollins
Your Winner : Cesaro
Kyle: Cesaro (6-9)
Ryan: -- (2-13)
Tim: Seth Rollins (3-12)
WWE Raw Tag Team Titles Match : AJ Styles & Omos vs New Day (Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods) ©
Your Winners, and NEW WWE Raw Tag Team Champions : AJ Styles & Omos
Kyle: AJ Styles & Omos (7-9)
Ryan: -- (2-14)
Tim: AJ Styles & Omos (4-12)
Cage Match : Braun Strowman vs Shane McMahon
Your Winner : Braun Strowman
Kyle: Braun Strowman (8-9)
Ryan: -- (2-15)
Tim: Shane McMahon (4-13)
Bad Bunny & Damian Priest vs John Morrison & the Miz
Your Winners : Bad Bunny & Damian Priest
Kyle: Bad Bunny & Damian Priest (9-9)
Ryan: -- (2-16)
Tim: Johnny Mondo & the Miz (4-14)
WWE Smackdown Women's Title Match : Bianca Belair vs Sasha Banks ©
Your Winner, and NEW WWE Smackdown Women's Champion : Bianca Belair
Kyle: Bianca Belair (10-9)
Ryan: -- (2-17)
Tim: Bianca Belair (5-14)
Bray Wyatt vs Randy Orton
Your Winner : Randy Orton Alexa Bliss?
Kyle: Bray Wyatt (10-10)
Ryan: -- (2-18)
Tim: Bray Wyatt (5-15)
WWE Women's Tag Team Titles Match : Natalya & Tamina vs Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler ©
Your Winners, and STILL WWE Women's Tag Team Champions : Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler
Kyle: Riott Squad (10-11)
Ryan: -- (2-19)
Tim: Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler (6-15)
Kevin Owens vs Sami Zayn
Your Winner : Kevin Owens
Kyle: Kevin Owens (11-11)
Ryan: -- (2-20)
Tim: Kevin Owens (7-15)
WWE United States Title Match : Sheamus vs Matt Riddle ©
Your Winner, and NEW WWE United States Champion : Sheamus
Kyle: Matt Riddle (11-12)
Ryan: -- (2-21)
Tim: Matt Riddle (7-16)
WWE Intercontinental Title Nigerian Drums Match : Apollo Crews vs Big E ©
Your Winner, and NEW WWE Intercontinental Champion : Apollo Crews
Kyle: Apollo Crews (12-12)
Ryan: -- (2-22)
Tim: Big E (7-17)
WWE Raw Women's Title Match : Rhea Ripley vs Asuka ©
Your Winner, and NEW WWE Raw Women's Champion : Rhea Ripley
Kyle: Rhea Ripley (13-12)
Ryan: -- (2-23)
Tim: Asuka (7-18)
WWE Universal Title Match : Daniel Bryan vs Edge vs Roman Reigns ©
Your Winner, and STILL WWE Universal Champions : Roman Reigns
Kyle: Edge (13-13)
Ryan: -- (2-24)
Tim: Daniel Bryan (7-19)
And now the conclusion…
New standings after NXT Takeover Stand & Deliver and WWE WrestleMania 37 :
First Place: Kyle 63.5% (115-66)
Second Place: Tim 53.8% (71-61)
Third Place: Ryan 23.9% (26-83)
A winner is me! Yay? We'll reset starting this month and we'll see if I can defend my title I guess? Shame will eventually come into play. Or is already here. I won the wrestling bets that I write up myself? Yup, there's the shame. Yay.
We do have a new challenger entering the arena this month: Zero Hour and Quixotronic's own Andy! Will he bring those sweet sweet hits to the wrestling garbage I bring in? No, probably not. Will he accidentally win everything purely by picking whichever wrestler would make the best independent musician name or album? Most definitely. Welcome to Fanboy Wrestletronic, Andy. We hope you survive the experience!
Who will survive!?
If you want to watch WWE (WrestleMania?) Backlash live on Sunday, you’ll want to subscribe to Peacock (not WWE Network - it is off on a farm upstate where it can finally investigate who was behind those GTV cameras backstage). Until then, here’s your Quixotronic preview of the show.
WWE WrestleMania Backlash 2021
Lumberjack Match : Damian Priest vs the Miz
The Background: Damian Priest and his friend Bad Bunny have been feuding with the Miz (and John Morrison) since Priest arrived on the Raw roster which took them all the way to *deep breathe* WrestleMania 37 in tag team action. Priest and Mr. Bunny defeated the Miz and Johnny Drip Drip on the grandest stage of them all and that was the end of it. Just kidding. The Miz and Morrison defeated Priest in a handicap match on the April 12th Raw because Bad Bunny had to go back to his home planet. In retaliation, Priest interrupted Miz and Mrs (Maryse)'s celebration of... something(?) on the April 19th Raw and then he defeated Miz in a singles match. The two appeared in a 6-man tag team match along with the New Day and Elias/Jaxson Ryker on the April 26th Raw and then Damian Priest defeated Johnny Mondo twice, both on the May 3rd Raw and the May 10th Raw. We here at Quixo call bullshit on Johnny Quixo being the fall guy. Priest gained the opportunity of selecting Priest and Miz's match stipulation and he has chosen... a lumberjack match!
Fanboy Fantasy: We get a nice sloppy match since lumberjack matches are always odd to me. Morrison does his best to clear everyone away from Miz whenever he's knocked out of the ring... which happens alot... and it works the first few times. When Priest is knocked to the outside, Morrison also leads the charge and actively tries to keep Priest on the outside while everyone else actually does their job - smack their co-worker once or twice and then pushing him back towards their work area in the ring. It gets to the point where even the camera is focusing more and more on Morrison than the actual match when the other lumberjacks have had enough and start beating on him. Miz gets distracted and Priest hits the Lights Out for yet another pin on Miz. If Keith Lee is still on Raw, how about have a quick Priest/Lee vs Dominik Dijakovic & Dio Maddin feud to have a secret NXT reunion match? Otherwise how about Priest vs Mustafa Ali? I want him going after the WWE United States title but it feels a bit early, yes? Either way, on the other side this obviously leads to Miz vs John Morrison as Miz is pissed Morrison hogged the spotlight of the match and cost him his match while Morrison was simply trying to help his now-former best friend while looking good at the same time.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Damian Priest - he already has a win over Miz in singles and two wins over Morrison in the last month, but I see no reason for him to lose here. Please no 50/50 booking, guys! Please?
Ryan: Damian Priest
Tim: Damian Priest
Andy: The Miz
WWE Smackdown Tag Team Titles Match : Los Mysterios (Dominik & Rey Mysterio) vs Dolph Ziggler & Robert Roode ©
The Background: Dolph Ziggler & Robert Roode, sometime refered to as the "Dirty Dawgs," defeated the Street Profits for Smackdown's Tag Team titles back on the January 8th Smackdown. Since then they have been in a little bit of a four-team feud with the former champions, the American Alpha/Heavy Machinery merger of Chad Gable & Otis Dozovic's Alpha Academy, and the father/son duo of Rey & Dominik Mysterio. The four made it official at WWE WrestleMania 37.... 's pre-show episode of Smackdown where Ziggler and Roode retained. Since then, Rey Mysterio defeated Otis while the champions retained in a match with the Street Profits on the April 16th Smackdown in singles action, and then Los Mysterios formally defeated Alpha Academy on the April 23rd Smackdown. Dominik Mysterio defeated Dolph Ziggler on the May 7th Smackdown and Rey Mysterio defeated Ziggler on the May 14th Smackdown, giving The Momentum to the Mysterios.
Fanboy Fantasy: Dominik starts the match and Ziggler & Roode are able to corner him with quick tags and just destroy him. He's able to kick out the first two pin attempts, but it takes Rey to break the next pin attempt. Finally Dominik is able to break free for that one second and make the tag to Rey who cleans house-- until he's caught in the same predicament. We do it all over again with Dominik and Rey's spots flipped until Rey makes the hot tag to Dominik who cleans house. Dominik and Rey hit double 619s followed by a Dominik Frog Splash and Los Mysterios get the pin.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Los Mysterios - I was wrong last month for their WrestleMania (pre-show Smackdown) match, but I'm going for it again. Do it emoji.
Ryan: Dolph Ziggler & Robert Roode
Tim: The Mysterii
Andy: Dirty Dawgs
WWE World Title Match : Braun Strowman vs Drew McIntyre vs Bobby Lashley ©
The Background: Thanks to (Hurt) Business, Bobby Lashley and MVP were able to manuever pieces around the board so that Miz cashed in his Money-in-the-Bank briefcase against former champion Drew McIntyre with the understanding the Lashley got a title opportunity. Against the Miz. Business worked out and Lashley successfully defended his new title against McIntyre in the opening match of WWE WrestleMania 37. The next night on the April 12th Raw, McIntyre defeated other title contenders Braun Strowman and Randy Orton in a triple threat match to earn a new title opportunity, though he was attacked by Hurt Independent Contractors Dominik Dijakovic & Dio Maddin (they are hired goons, but not formally inducted members of the Hurt Business it has been pointed out). Dijakovic and Maddin defeated McIntyre and enemy-of-my-enemy Strowman on both the April 19th Raw and the April 26th Raw because they cannot co-exist. Meanwhile Lashley stepped into action and also defeated Strowman in singles action on the May 3rd Raw and though McIntyre won a singles bout (and WrestleMania rematch) on the May 10th Raw via DQ when Strowman attacked McIntyre as a (Hurt) Business transaction with Lashley... and then attacked Lashley right afterwards. Dominance established.
Fanboy Fantasy: Lashley plays it smart by dodging quick attacks from both Strowman and McIntyre so they start to fight each other instead of him. Lashley sticks to the outside with MVP until McIntyre is able to hit a quick Claymore and Lashley has to rush in to break the pin. With Lashley now an active participant, it's all just toys smashing into each other. MVP does his best to distract the other two kaiju, but Strowman takes the initiative to hits a running powerslam on MVP on the outside, removing him from the match - he then is able to rush back in a break another McIntyre pin after a Claymore to Lashley. Strowman hits the powerslam on McIntyre for a near-fall, and then on Lashley for another near-fall. Eventually Lashley is able to hit both men with one spear with McIntyre stuck in the middle and he takes the pin. The next night on Raw, McIntyre admits he knows he has to go to the back of the line now and will do his best to earn another chance to regain his title. Jinder Mahal is back and he's still rebuilding after his WWE World title run a few years ago - let's have some fun with a quick 3MB reunion! Since Strowman didn't take the pin, he and Lashley can fight for another month before Lashley moves on to some new World title challengers like Jeff Hardy, a newly-face John Morrison, a Randy Orton-sponsored Matt Riddle for some MMA-style fun, but first: Shelton Benjamin after winning a best-of-seven series with Cedric Alexander because we (well, I) need closure on the Hurt Business implosion. Shelton Benjamin as the vet who never won the big one and with one last chance? Book it.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Bobby Lashley - if Lashley didn't lose the title at WrestleMania, he definitely isn't losing the title at (WrestleMania) Backlash.
Ryan: Bobby Lashley
Tim: Bobby Lashley
Andy: Drew McIntyre
WWE Universal Title Match : Cesaro vs Roman Reigns ©
The Background: Cesaro finally turned face on the February 5th Smackdown by defeating Daniel Bryan and then sharing a handshake with Bryan afterwards because Respect. See? This isn't hard. The two continued to have eachothers backs since then - both entered the Elimination Chamber match to earn a WWE Universal title shot at WWE Elimination Chamber 2021 (Daniel Bryan won and then immedietly lost to Don Roman), and Cesaro cheered Bryan on at another losing title opportunity at WWE Fastlane 2021. Cesaro on the other hand was targeted by a returning Seth Rollins. The two had hopes going into WWE WrestleMania 37 where Cesaro defeated Seth Rollins while Daniel Bryan was the lower man in Roman Reign's victory sandwich pin (Edge was the meat, for those keeping score). Cesaro, high on his first singles victory at WrestleMania, entered himself into the Universal title picture, but Roman Reigns was not pleased and ignored him - of course that means Cesaro defeated Jey Uso on the April 16th Smackdown. Cesaro and Bryan teamed together to defeat Jey Uso and Seth Rollins on the April 23rd Smackdown, finally giving us seeds of the new Rollins and Reigns characters interacting. However, later than night Daniel Bryan challenged Roman Reigns to a title match for Cesaro since he has never had a World title match - and Roman again ignored Cesaro. Instead, Roman challenged Bryan to a final title match that if he lost, he'd have to leave Smackdown forever. Bryan, per Cesaro's recommendation, accepted... and lost. Depending on his actual contract status, at least as of this typing, Bryan is no longer under WWE contract though that could obviously change at any time (if he resigns, pleeeeaaase go to NXT ; if he doesn't, pleeeeeeaaase go to NWA and become the new NWA Worlds Heavyweight Champion and then touring ALL THE TERRITORIES). Cesaro defeated Seth Rollins again on the May 7th Throwback Smackdown and per Teddy Long's (playa!) pre-match stipulation, he now gets a WWE Universal title shot. Of course, he's down a Daniel Bryan, and Don Roman is up (maybe?) a Jimmy Uso. Don Roman is pleased?
Fanboy Fantasy: Now that Jimmy Uso is finally back can we can actually build the Samoan Dynasty with Roman as its head? Cesaro and Roman go for a solid 20 minutes and are evenly matched. That is important - Roman should not destroy Cesaro. The Usos accompany Roman but stay on the outside, and any time Jey is about to trip up Cesaro, Jimmy gets him to hold back. Eventually Jey convinces Jimmy to help him superkick Cesaro, but when Roman in his hubris picks Cesaro up for a second superkick Jimmy Uso hits Roman “on accident” and walks out with Jey pleading behind him. With Cesaro and Roman back on even footing, they’re able to get back up and go for a few minutes until Roman gets an earned win. The Usos return but before they can show unity and attack Cesaro while he’s down, Shinsuke Nakamura makes the save. We get some Cesaro/Nakamura vs Usos matches and follow up with a Nakamura vs Roman match at... whatever the July show is. Payback maybe? Roman sits out of June’s Money in the Bank because he can, and maybe we get a big money Brock/Roman match at SummerSlam with their roles reversed from previous bouts. Cesaro is kept strong like Bobby Lashley was last year and gets an Intercontinental title run while he builds up for his next Universal title match... and wins?
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Roman Reigns - I love that Cesaro is getting the shot but it is too early to give him the strap.
Ryan: Roman Reigns
Tim: Roman Reigns
Andy: Cesaro
WWE Smackdown Women's Title Match : Bayley vs Bianca Belair ©
The Background: Bayley and Bianca Belair have been circling each other for some time. Bayley captained Smackdown's women's survivor series team (which included Belair) in a losing effort back at WWE Survivor Series 2020. Bayley defeated Belair in singles and tag team matches since then, but it all clicked into place with the debut of Bayley's hit talk show Ding Dong, Hello! on the January 15th Smackdown and its first guest, Bianca Belair. This led to the Ultimate Athletic Obsticle Course on the January 22nd Smackdown with Belair coming out on the winning side after lifting Otis Dozovic. With the longest reigning WWE Smackdown Women's champion defeated (I think?), Belair used The Momentum to straight up win the women's Royal Rumble by last eliminating Rhea Ripley. Belair chose WWE Smackdown Champion Sasha Banks as her opponent, and the two began teaming for a bit and even challenged unsuccessfully for the WWE Women's Tag Team titles both at WWE Elimination Chamber 2021 and WWE Fastlane 2021 to kill time before WrestleMania. Then the two main evented night one of WWE WrestleMania 37 and Belair won the WWE Smackdown Women's title. In the main event. It was a goddamn delight. The very next week it was announced that Bayley will challenge Belair in her first title defense at WWE (WrestleMania?) Backlash. Belair and the Street Profits defeated Bayley and Ziggler/Roode on the April 30th Smackdown, while Bayley got revenge on Belair via beatdown on the May 7th Throwback Smackdown after declairing herself the greatest Women's champion in history.
Fanboy Fantasy: The two go for a good ten minutes before Bayley begins to get visibly upset that she hasn’t already won the match. As the match continues, Belair stays cool and confident but Bayley starts yelling how she’s the greatest, she's the role model for the entire women's division. Match goes on, and Bayley still can't put Belair down, and Bayley starts asking if Belair wants to be a role model too? Does she want to be the greatest? Match goes on, and Bayley has simply lost it and is now yelling at Belair to "be somebody" and pin the greatest. Be somebody! Belair finally hits the KOD and pins Bayley 1, 2, 3. When Bayley gets up she weirdly smiling, grabs the WWE Smackdown Women's title, and offers her hand in congratulations to Belair. Belair correctly hesitates but finally gives in and the two embrace... into a Headlock Driver. With Belair downed, Bayley drapes the title on top of Bianca and pats her on the face. "Good work, Bianca. You're somebody now. But not yet the greatest."
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Bianca Belair - Bayley has good standing to indeed be the “greatest WWE Smackdown Women’s Champion,” but she needs to take a pin to help solidify Belair’s title reign. Plus her win was pretty much the moment of this year’s WrESTlemania, so let’s not fuck it up.
Ryan: Bianca Belair
Tim: Bianca Belair
Andy: Bayley
WWE Raw Women's Title Match : Asuka vs Charlotte Flair vs Rhea Ripley ©
The Background: After having the most eliminations in the 2021 women's Royal Rumble match before falling to winner Bianca Belair, Rhea Ripley appeared on the Raw brand and set her sights immediately on Asuka and the WWE Raw Women's title. The former NXT Women's champion got her wish and defeated Asuka on night two of WrestleMania 37. WrestleMania 37. A standard rematch was booked on the April 12th Raw but Charlotte Flair returned and attacked both competitors because Charlotte Flair. Asuka defeated Flair on the April 19th Raw and Flair took out her frustrations on every referee she could find leading to a suspension. But don't worry dear reader, WWE official Sonya Deville reinstated Flair on the April 26th Raw and added her to the WWE Raw Women's title match on the May 3rd Raw. Now a possible WrestleMania match will be held at WrestleMania (Backlash).
Fanboy Fantasy: Pre-match, Eva Marie comes down to commentary to continue talking about her return and the Diva Eva-lution that is coming though the announcers do their best to ignore her. Ripley and Asuka don't even need to do a whole show of agreeing to work together at all, they just immediately gun for Flair. Unlike usual, we do not get a point where the two "good guys" fuck up and start fighting each other - well, other than pin attempts of course. Ripley goes for a pin, Asuka breaks it, they both laugh, and continue to double team Flair. However, Flair is going to Flair and is able to reverse enough moves to gain the advantage even if Asuka and Ripley aren't actively turning on each other. Mid-way through the match, former tag team champions Shayna Baszler and Nia Jax come out and watch the match from the entryway and the announcers cover Baszler's NXT history with Ripley and Jax's history with both Asuka and Flair because continuity. Their distraction allows Flair to keep the advantage. Asuka and Ripley are able to fight their way back but Jax & Baszler start making their way to the ring. The referee starts yelling at them to leave the ring, as does Ripley. While they're distracted, Flair is able to corner Asuka who is then hit in the back of the head with the belt by Eva Marie and knocked out. Instead of going for the easy win, Flair instead jams her hand into Asuka's mouth and rips out the green mist pill and pops it into her own mouth. Ripley and the ref finally turn around and Flair green mists Ripley in the face and pins her for the title. Baszler and Jax slide into the ring and further beat down the form champions as Marie poses and we go off air. The next night on Raw, Flair introduces her new friends: she is the greatest WWE Horsewomen, Baszler is the greatest MMA Horsewoman (can we pipe in a small cheer for Rhonda Rousey to return?), Jax is the greatest monster woman, and Marie is the greatest Diva. This isn't a Horsewoman thing. This isn't an Eva-lution thing. This is what the greatest do to the weak. This... is Natural Selection.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Charlotte Flair - Flair is literally going to pin both Asuka and Ripley like Roman Reigns pinned Daniel Bryan and Edge. #wwelol #DameCharlotteIsPleased.
Ryan: Rhea Ripley
Tim: Rhea Ripley
Andy: Charlotte Flair
That’s it for our WWE WrestleMania Backlash preview and fantasy booking. We'll be back in two weeks (maybe) with AEW Double or Nothing 2021 (May 30th), in three weeks (maybe if they release a card beforehand) with NWA When Our Shadows Fall (June 6th), in four weeks (definitely) with NXT Takeover In Your House II (June 13th) and in five weeks (obviously) with WWE Money in the Bank (June 20th). This sounds very busy, it's probably not going to work out.
In the meantime, if you haven't already, please checkout the our version of WWE, first in Quixo-WWE WrestleMania 37 and next in Quixo-Great American Bash 2021! What's better than some fantasy booking? All fantasy booking. We'll be back at some point with the finale of that season with Quixo-WWE SummerSlam 2021! Then we'll see what happens with the roster draft in October-ish. Or maybe we'll do some retro fantasy booking?
Thanks for joining us again and be sure to subscribe on Facebook and follow https://www.quixotronic.com/ for more questionable content.
**LATE BREAKING NEWS**
This just in: literally as I was about to hit "publish" and because I'm broken and can't focus on one thing at a time - I discovered that WCW Nitro is back! It's finally on Peacock after being away from my cold dead eyeballs for the last month since the WWE Network went down. Please enjoy this classic clip from the best wrestling brand in the world that clearly deserved to be purchased by it's rival:
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