This is the time I'd normally enlighten you with a bunch of Money in the Bank stats, like how there's been 24 Money in the Bank ladder matches with 20 successful cash-ins, but those cash-ins weren't always the match winner - like The Miz successfully cashing in earlier this year despite Otis Dozovic being the ladder match winner at the previous event. Or how of the three (or four) women's Money in the Bank matches, there is 100% success rate so far? Did you know Wisconsin's own Ken Kennedy (or Ken Anderson outside of WWE) was the first person to win the briefcase but to lose it to another performer back in 2007 to Edge? Go Wisconsin.
But no, we need to talk about a different thing tonight: Bucks in six.
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Go Wisconsin, indeed.
Let's check in with the results from the fourth round of the all-new all-different Quixotronic Wrestling Shame Challenge!
Previously on Fanboy Wrestletronic…
Standings going into WWE Hell in a Cell 2021 :
1st Place: Kyle 80.0% (16-4)
2nd Place: Tim 73.7% (14-5)
3rd Place: Ryan 57.9% (11-8)
4th Place: Andy 36.8% (7-12)
WWE Hell in a Cell 2021 results :
Mandy Rose vs Natalya
Your Winner : Natalya
Andy: n/a (0-0)
Kyle: n/a (0-0)
Ryan: n/a (0-0)
Tim: n/a (0-0)
WWE Smackdown Women's Title Hell in a Cell Match : Bayley vs Bianca Belair ©
Your Winner, and STILL WWE Smackdown Women's Champion : Bianca Belair
Andy: Bayley (0-1)
Kyle: Bianca Belair (1-0)
Ryan: Bianca Belair (1-0)
Tim: Bianca Belair (1-0)
Cesaro vs Seth Rollins
Your Winner : Seth Rollins
Andy: Cesaro (0-2)
Kyle: Cesaro (1-1)
Ryan: Cesaro (1-1)
Tim: Cesaro (1-1)
Alexa Bliss vs Shayna Baszler
Your Winner : Alexa Bliss
Andy: Alexa Bliss (1-2)
Kyle: Alexa Bliss (2-1)
Ryan: Alexa Bliss (2-1)
Tim: Alexa Bliss (2-1)
Kevin Owens vs Sami Zayn
Your Winner : Sami Zayn
Andy: Sami Zayn (2-2)
Kyle: Sami Zayn (3-1)
Ryan: Kevin Owens (2-2)
Tim: Kevin Owens (2-2)
WWE Raw Women's Title Match : Charlotte Flair vs Rhea Ripley ©
Your Winner by DQ : Charlotte Flair
Andy: Rhea Ripley (2-3)
Kyle: Charlotte Flair (4-1)
Ryan: Charlotte Flair (3-2)
Tim: Charlotte Flair (3-2)
WWE World Title Hell in a Cell Match : Drew McIntyre vs Bobby Lashley ©
Your Winner, and STILL WWE World Champion : Bobby Lashley
Andy: Bobby Lashley (3-3)
Kyle: Bobby Lashley (5-1)
Ryan: n/a (3-3)
Tim: Drew McIntyre (3-3)
And now the conclusion…
New standings after WWE Money in the Bank 2021 :
1st Place: Kyle 80.8% (21-5)
2nd Place: Tim 68.0% (17-8)
3rd Place: Ryan 56.0% (14-11)
4th Place: Andy 40.0% (10-15)
Who will survive!?
If you want to watch WWE Money in the Bank 2021 live on Sunday, you’ll want to subscribe to Peacock. Until then, here’s your Quixotronic preview of the show.
WWE Money in the Bank 2021
WWE Raw Tag Team Titles Match : Viking Raiders (Erik & Ivar) vs AJ Styles & Omos ©
The Background: AJ Styles and his... bodyguard? Omos defeated the New Day (Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods) back at WWE WrestleMania 37, giving AJ Styles the title of Grand Slam champion in WWE. I believe he's the only person to be a Grand Slam champion in multiple promotions? At least between WWE, Impact/TNA, and ROH. Styles & Omos won a rematch against the New Day on the May 3rd Raw. Styles & Omos then briefly feuded with Elias and his roadie Jaxson Ryker but that ended on the May 31st Raw when Elias ditched Ryker after reading his tweets from last year, turning Ryker into easily the oddest babyface in a long time. I can't wait for live crowds to boo the shit out of him but am also very afraid they won't. Anyway, Styles tried to qualify for the Money in the Bank ladder match but was defeated by qualifier Ricochet on the June 21st Raw, and then again in a last-chance match to qualifier Drew McIntyre on the June 28th Raw. Meanwhile, the Viking Warriors returned from injury earlier on the April 12th Raw and have been stacking up wins that don't always make it to the Hulu cut of Raw. Erik and Ivar won a tag team battle royal on the June 7th Raw to become the #1 contenders to the Raw Tag Team titles and are cashing in that match here. To determine who has momentum, the two teams split the difference in two singles matches on the July 12 Raw that saw Omos defeat Erik but Ivar defeat AJ Styles. Wait, really? Not the other way around?
Fanboy Fantasy: Styles starts the match but gets the absolute shit kicked out of him. Erik and Ivar work quick tags, tons of double team maneuvers, and AJ can't make it to his team's half of the ring let along anywhere close enough for a tag. One on one AJ should be able to easily take care of them, but their tag work makes it effectively a handicap match. He gets close at one point only to emphasize how far Omos' reach is when his hand is out for the tag, but War Machine pull AJ back in before and are able to put him away for the win and the titles. Omos never makes it into the match. AJ yells at Omos after the match but Omos simply puts his hand over AJ's head, covering his face entirely to quiet him. AJ sees his point and the two head to the back together, hoping to win their rematch.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: AJ Styles & Omos - I want the belts off Styles but I feel like they'll keep them a little longer.
Andy: Viking Raiders
Ryan: Viking Raiders
Tim: AJ Styles & Omos
WWE Raw Women's Title Match : Charlotte Flair vs Rhea Ripley ©
The Background: New WWE Raw Women's Champion Rhea Ripley defeated former champion Asuka and always champion Charlotte Flair at WWE WrestleMania Backlash 2021 and ended both feuds then and there. Flair did not get the memo so the two had a singles match at WWE Hell in a Cell 2021 where Flair won via DQ. Surprisingly Flair isn't going for the Money in the Bank briefcase, possibly the only accolade she hasn't won, and will be facing Ripley again because that's what DQ finishes dictate. Flair and the WWE Women's Tag Team Champions Natalya and Tamina defeated Ripley and Dana Brooke & Mandy Rose (who is now traded to NXT I guess?) on the June 28th Raw, but otherwise... shrug emoji?
Fanboy Fantasy: Flair and Ripley spill out of the ring within a couple minutes of the match and both get counted out. They keep fighting while the bell rings, but they are interrupted by Sonya Deville who announced that she won't allow a match on the first PPV back with the WWE Universe end in a quick count out - so it's now a Falls Count Anywhere match. Mind you, the entire time Ripley and Flair were not listening, they were still fighting, only now they're smiling. This is our opportunity for two wrestlers the fight in and out of the crowd and be with the people. They brawl up and down the aisles, Flair sets up for a moonsault off one of the crowd entryways but misses. Rhea hits not one but two Riptides on Flair for the win. Pose with the people. Use that image to sell your return, kids.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Charlotte Flair - only a fool bets against a Flair.
Andy: Charlotte Flair
Ryan: Rhea Ripley
Tim: Charlotte Flair
WWE World Title Match : Kofi Kingston vs Bobby Lashley ©
The Background: To open the May 17th Raw, Bobby Lashley & MVP issued an open challenge to anyone except for Drew McIntyre - and Kofi Kingston answered the call, defeating Lashey in a non-title match. MVP was able to push Kingston and McIntyre against each other as a distraction, and McIntyre ultimately won another title match for WWE Hell in a Cell 2021, though Lashley came out on top. With Lashley's (hurt) business concluded with McIntyre, Kingston again stepped up on the June 21st Raw to challenge Lashley to a title match, but MVP concluded that to allow that, Lashley would get to play with Xavier Woods in a Hell in a Cell match. It was play time and Lashley had three minutes. However, the New Day came together on the July 5th Raw and defeated Lashley and MVP in a tag team match. The July 12th Raw saw Xavier Woods shock Lashley with a roll up for a singles win, and MVP tried to cheer him up in the closing scene of the ThunderDome era: a desperate Bobby Lashley sent away the women, sent away the champagne, and told MVP he needs to get back to basics. He destroyed the MVP's VIP Lounge set and informed Kofi Kingston that on Sunday - he will end him.
Fanboy Fantasy: Lashley, sans MVP, dominates in the beginning and Kofi (w/ Woods) plays the rag doll. Every time Lashley goes for a pin though, Kofi kicks out at 2 or gets an easy rope break to show that Lashley isn’t as focused as he should be - he’s raging far too early. MVP comes down to the ring to try and regroup with Lashley, but Lashley is too pissed to listen, so of course Xavier flies from off screen and takes out MVP as Kofi splashes Lashley. Kofi and Woods both toss Lashley back in the ring and Kofi takes the advantage. Three Trouble in Paradises later and Kofi pins Lashley to win his second WWE World Title. Woods slides in to celebrate and Big E comes out from the back and we get a full New Day dance party.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Bobby Lashley - as much as I want KofiMania II, I don't think WWE will give it to me. Plus, that show closing promo sold me on another 6 months of WWE World Champion Bobby Lashley.
Andy: Bobby Lashley
Ryan: Kofi Kingston
Tim: Bobby Lashley
WWE Universal Title Match : Edge vs Roman Reigns ©
The Background: Edge won the Royal Rumble match at WWE Royal Rumble 2021 to win a title shot against any champion he wanted - and he chose WWE Universal Champion Roman Reigns. However, Daniel Bryan also had issues with Reigns and was able to get added to the big title match, making the WWE WrestleMania 37 match a triple threat - where Roman pinned both Edge and Daniel Bryan in a delicious WrestleMania-Moment sandwich. Reigns was able to dispatch Bryan after a final WWE Universal title shot slash loser-leaves-town match on the April 30th Smackdown that saw Roman come out on top. However, Edge returned to attack Reigns at the end of the the June 25th Smackdown, presumably to demand the singles title match he has yet to actually get. Edge attacked Roman's less-than-obedient cousin Jimmy Uso on the July 2nd Smackdown, which Roman was able to use to hopefully and finally bring The Family together on the July 9th Smackdown to unite against Edge. This worked out for about 1 hour and 58 minutes before The Family was attacked by Edge and the WWE Smackdown Tag Team Champions Rey Mysterio and Dominik Mysterio, also reuniting former WWE Tag Team Champions Edge & Rey Mysterio.
Fanboy Fantasy: The match is pretty even since as a Hall of Famer, Edge should be close to Roman’s power level - at first. Roman will play the long game and Edge will start to get visibly tired as the match goes on. As Edge gets a second win, he starts getting Roman in longer and longer 2-counts. Heyman can be seen making a hand signal and the new Smackdown Tag Team champions Jey & Jimmy Uso show up at the entryway but are immediately ambushed by the former champions Rey & Dominik Mysterio. Roman looks concerned and turns right into a spear from Edge. Roman pops up but is out of it so Edge spears him again. Edge goes for the pin, 1-2-… no! The ref is pulled out of the ring not by Paul Heyman, but Rikishi! The father of the Usos slides in the ring and hits Edge with a super kick right into a Superman punch from Roman. Another spear from Roman puts Edge out in time for the ref to recover for a 1-2-3 count. As Roman poses, Heyman hands Rikishi, the bad man, a microphone. “Just to be clear, I did it for the Head of our Table. I did it for Roman.” The family poses. The family is pleased. Don Roman is pleased.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Roman Reigns - #DonRomanIsPleased
Andy: Edge
Ryan: Edge
Tim: Edge
Women's Money in the Bank Ladder Match : Alexa Bliss vs Asuka vs Liv Morgan vs Naomi vs Natalya vs Nikki Cross vs Zelina Vega vs TBA
The Background: Raw held two qualifying tag team matches on the June 21st Raw - Asuka & Naomi defeated Eva Marie & Piper Niven (we will not be using the name "Doudrop" here in the Quixotronic offices) and former tag team champions Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross (who are in much different places in their lives since their last title reign) defeated also former tag team champions Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler because for some reason Raw won't let Baszler kill like Baszler should kill. Yes, even against the demon-possessed witch girl and the presumably-has-superpowers superhero. Baszler should kill. Nikki Cross defeated Alexa Bliss, Asuka, and Naomi in a fatal four way on the go-home July 12th Raw. Over on Smackdown, Carmella was announced as the first qualifier on the June 25th Smackdown while a returning Zelina Vega was announced as the second qualifier on the July 2nd Smackdown. Tragedy struck the greatest Smackdown Women's champion when Bayley was injured while training (for you!) so Carmella will receive a title match instead, sliding Liv Morgan into her spot on the July 9th Smackdown as well as announcing Natalya as the actual third qualifier.
Fanboy Fantasy: They all hit each other with ladders and jump on the ladders and run into the ladders and in the end it’s down to Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross on the top of the center ladder, Naomi and Natalya on one slightly to the side, Asuka and Tamina on one on the other side, and Liv Morgan and Zelina Vega are outside the ring beating the shit out of each other. Just as Cross is about to reach the briefcase before Bliss, the arena goes dark and the fireflies come out and the Fiend’s music hits. The light come back and the two side ladders have fallen and Asuka, Naomi, Natalya, and Tamina are all down. Bliss smiles while Nikki is still holding onto the ladder. Once Bliss is able to react to Cross still being in the match, she takes a deep breath and the lights go out again. When they come back, Nikki is a few rungs down but still holding on - everyone else has fallen out of the ring. One more lights out, and when they come up Bliss has the briefcase and Cross is on the ground struggling and everyone else is just gone. Bliss has the briefcase and we set up the final feud of Alexa Bliss vs Nikki Cross which you know I will save for next WrestleMania. The title can come and go, they don’t actually need it. Give me what I want!
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Nikki Cross - maybe they'll strap a rocket on the "Nikki ASH" character? I'll take my Nikki [insert last name] any way I can get her on my TV.
Andy: Alexa Bliss
Ryan: Nikki Cross
Tim: Asuka
Men's Money in the Bank Ladder Match : Big E vs Drew McIntyre vs John Morrison vs Kevin Owens vs Matt Riddle vs Ricochet vs Seth Rollins vs Shinsuke Nakamura
The Background: Raw held three qualifying matches on the June 21st Raw - Ricochet defeated AJ Styles, John Morrison defeated Randy Orton, and Matt Riddle defeated Drew McIntyre. Drew McIntyre then won a last chance qualifier match on the June 28th Raw against the other losers AJ Styles and Randy Orton (though out for the night, he was gleefully represented by his tag team partner Matt Riddle). Earlier in the night John Morrison and Ricochet fought to a double count out trying to out show each other prior to the ladder match. In fact, Morrison and Ricochet did it again on the July 5th Raw but they settled their differences on the July 12th Raw when Ricochet beat Johnny Drip Drip in a Falls Count Anywhere match. Smackdown again took it slower with Big E winning the first qualifier on the June 25th Smackdown by defeating Apollo Crews. Kevin Owens beat Sami Zayn for the next spot on the July 2nd Smackdown, and then Seth Rollins beat Cesaro and Shinsuke Nakamura beat Baron Corbin for the final two spots on the July 9th Smackdown.
Fanboy Fantasy: They all hit each other with ladders and jump on the ladders and run into the ladders and in the end it’s down to Big E. That’s it - Big E wins the match, it doesn’t matter how. Since Rollins pinned him on the go-home Smackdown, I guess let’s have Big E send Rollins down for the final bump? Big E dances with the briefcase while Xavier Woods and WWE World Champion Kofi Kingston come out to dance with him… but Kofi has his eye on Big E. And E has his eye on Kofi’s WWE World title. Woods, sensing the tension, very loudly asks “hey you’re going for Roman, right?” They all stop dancing. E stares down Kofi. Kofi, stepping up, stares down E. The get nose to nose. And then Big E breaks the tension, smiles, and replies “oh most definitely, I’m going for Roman! We’re all getting belts baby!” And the New Day dances. Oh how they dance.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Drew McIntyre - he should take a rest from the title picture, but the fact that this match came up right after he lost his last chance to face Lashley? Of course he'll get this loophole!
Andy: Big E
Ryan: Matt Riddle
Tim: Matt Riddle
That's it for our WWE Money in the Bank 2021 preview and fantasy booking. We'll be back next month with WWE SummerSlam on August 21, 2021. But before that, we may WILL close out the first run of Quixo-WWE season with its own SummerSlam. I have a card, I just need to grace the page with its presence. After that we'll start again with the new rosters we get after the post-SummerSlam brand draft. Or in October. Whenever they brand draft. Which will hopefully see more NXT in the mix a little? Shotzi Blackheart being on national television is a great start.
In the meantime, if you haven't already, please checkout parts 1 and 2 of our version of WWE : Quixo-WWE WrestleMania 37 and Quixo-Great American Bash 2021! What's better than some fantasy booking? All fantasy booking.
Thanks for joining us again and be sure to subscribe on Facebook and follow https://www.quixotronic.com/ for more questionable content.