Welcome back again! We took a few well deserved weeks off and outright skipped an AEW All Out 2020 preview, so everyone in the office is borderline chipper at this point and ready for some new wrestling.
This month is one of the rare pay-per-views that uses a WCW name - Clash of (the) Champions! Why we’ve gone this long and still haven’t gotten a Halloween Havoc event is criminal. The people demand it! Ok, the Quixotronic offices demand it! Ok, ok, I demand it. Please? I skipped the AEW show and everything, WWE!
The gimmick here, instead of a free super show on TBS, is that all titles must be defended. Will they? Probably not, it’s not very consistent. To review, both Raw and Smackdown each have four titles (a World title, a secondary title, a Woman’s title, and male Tag Team titles), and WWE has two floating titles (women Tag Team titles and the 24/7 title). That’s, in theory, 10 matches right there. Or 9 depending on how the 24/7 belt is used. Nine matches and at least 3 comedy bits. Let’s just get to it, let’s see those standings for the Quixotine (™) Wrestling Shame Challenge (™) and review what happened last time.
Previously on Fanboy Wrestletronic…
Standings going into WWE Payback 2020:
First Place: Ryan, 62% (13-8)
Second Place: Kyle, 58% (45-32)
Third Place: Tim, 50% (20-20)
Who will survive!?
WWE Payback results & scores:
The Iconics (Billie Kay & Peyton Royce) vs The Riott Squad (Liv Morgan & Ruby Riott)
Your Winners: The Riott Squad
Kyle: n/a
Ryan: n/a
Tim: n/a
WWE United States Title Match: Bobby Lashley vs Apollo Crews ©
Your Winner, and NEW WWE United States Champion: Bobby Lashley
Kyle: Bobby Lashley (1-0 / 46-32)
Ryan: Apollo Crews (0-1 / 13-9)
Tim: Apollo Crews (0-1 / 20-21)
Big E vs Sheamus
Your Winner: Big E
Kyle: Big E (2-0 / 47-32)
Ryan: Big E (1-1 / 14-9)
Tim: Big E (1-1 / 21-21)
Baron Corbin vs Matt Riddle
Your Winner: Matt Riddle
Kyle: Matt Riddle (3-0 / 48-32)
Ryan: Matt Riddle (2-1 / 15-9)
Tim: Baron Corbin (1-2 / 21-22)
WWE Women’s Tag Team Titles Match: Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler vs Bayley & Sasha Banks ©
Your Winners, and NEW WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions: Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler
Kyle: Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler (4-0 / 49-32)
Ryan: Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler (3-1 / 16-9)
Tim: Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler (2-2 / 22-22)
Keith Lee vs Randy Orton
Your Winner: Keith Lee
Kyle: Randy Orton (4-1 / 49-33)
Ryan: Keith Lee (4-1 / 17-9)
Tim: Keith Lee (3-2 / 23-22)
Rey & Dominik Mysterio vs Seth Rollins & Buddy Murphy
Your Winners: Rey & Dominik Mysterio
Kyle: Rey & Dominik Mysterio (5-1 / 50-33)
Ryan: Rey & Dominik Mysterio (5-1 / 18-9)
Tim: Rey & Dominik Mysterio (4-2 / 24-22)
WWE Universal Title Match: Braun Strowman vs Roman Reigns vs Bray Wyatt ©
Your Winner, and NEW WWE Universal Champion: Roman Reigns
Kyle: Bray Wyatt (5-2 / 50-34)
Ryan: Roman Reigns (6-1 / 19-9)
Tim: Bray Wyatt (4-3 / 24-23)
And now the conclusion…
New standings going into WWE Clash of (the) Champions 2020:
First Place: Ryan, 68% (19-9)
Second Place: Kyle, 60% (50-34)
Third Place: Tim, 51% (24-23)
If you want to watch WWE Clash of Champions live on Sunday, you’ll want to subscribe to the WWE Network. Until then, here’s your Quixotronic preview of the show.
WWE Clash of Champions 2020
WWE Raw Tag Team Titles Match: Andrade & Angel Garza vs The Street Profits (Angelo Dawkins & Montez Ford) ©
The Background: The Street Profits retained their titles against Andrade and Angel Garza at WWE Payback. Since then both teams were attacked by Retribution on the August 31st Raw, the Profits defeated Andrade & Garza gain on the September 7th Raw and Cesaro & Shinsuke Nakamura in a champions vs champions match on the September 14th Raw. However, losers Andrade and Garza defeated not-a-team Dominik Mysterio & Humberto Carrillo and probably-breaking-up Buddy Murphy & Seth Rollins on the September 21st Raw to win yet another shot at the champions.
Fanboy Fantasy: Street Profits retain again after Zelina Vega unsuccessfully interferes in the match but just distracts Garza into taking the pin. On the next couple of Raws the Profits, now possibly the longest reigning tag team champions in forever, decide to host a Profits tournament with 8 teams to determine their next challengers, forcing some new teams to form. On that end, Vega and Andrade dump Garza who needs to become a scummy babyface in the mold of Eddie Guerrero. Then Andrade can start earning some wins so he can be built up for a World title feud with McIntyre, but after briefly entering the Profits tournament with Vega-suggested partner and former-enemy Aleister Black. New teams can include Dijakovic & Maddin of Retribution, Cedric Alexander & Shelton Benjamin of Hurt Business, Ricochet (or Apollo Crews) & Mustafa Ali, and Akira Tozawa & R-Truth who keep pinning each other for the 24/7 title mid-match while also winning their way through the tournament.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Andrade & Angel Garza - I’m probably screwing myself here, but I have to fall back on the “why are we still doing this if not to give the forever-challengers the belts” logic.
Ryan: TBD
Tim: The Street Profits
WWE Smackdown Tag Team Titles Match: Lucha House Party (Gran Metalik, Kalisto, and/or Lince Dorado) vs Cesaro & Shinsuke Nakamura ©
The Background: Cesaro & Nakamura, filled with pride and destined to fail, challenged the Street Profits to a champions vs champions match. However, the Profits were able to distract them enough to cause a loss for the team on the September 11th Smackdown against the Lucha House Party. They also lost the previously mentioned champions match on the September 14th Raw. Don’t worry, Cesaro defeated Gran Metalik in singles action on the September 18th Smackdown though, so everything will be fine.
Fanboy Fantasy: Cesaro/Nakamura easily win their title defense against the Lucha House Party with Kalisto leaving LHP after the match to become a single heel. After Zayn loses his title match (spoilers!) he returns to the Artist Collective that he brought together and insists they should start using the Freebird rule in title defenses - besides, he lost his Intercontinental title in a ladder match so still was never pinned! However as the weeks go by Zayn keeps pushing out Cesaro to defend the tag team titles with Nakamura until Cesaro finally snaps and turns on Zayn/Nakamura. Cesaro becomes the big hero we need him to be while Zayn and Nakamura hold onto the tag team belts until Smackdown’s tag team division is built back up also. Cesaro tried to reteam with Sheamus as The Bar but the two feud instead to build up Cesaro for his destiny: a WWE Universal title match with Roman. I’m turned on already.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Cesaro & Shinsuke Nakamura - I enjoy LHP but I don’t see them getting the belts… ever? Oh well.
Ryan: TBD
Tim: Lucha House Party
WWE Women’s Tag Team Titles Match: The Riott Squad (Liv Morgan & Ruby Riott) vs Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler ©
The Background: The unlikely team of Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler defeated Bayley & Sasha Banks to win the WWE Women’s Tag Team titles at WWE Payback. The Riott Squad defeated The Iconics in a #1 contendership & losers-must-disband match on the August 31st Raw, robbing the world forever of the magic that is The Iconics. On one hand, hooray for Liv and Ruby! On the other hand - BOOOOOOOOOOO. The Iconics were able to defeat just Shayna Baszler in a handicap match on the September 7th Raw (re: see “BOOOOOO”).
Fanboy Fantasy: Riott Squad holds their own for a little while but are handedly defeated by a bickering-but-working-well Baszler/Jax. Jax, overcome with excitement that they won, reaches out to shake Morgan and Riott’s hands but Baszler attacks her for showing compassion. She pushes her Tag Team belt into Jax’s face to remind her that THEY are the champions, not the punks they just beat. On the next Raw, Baszler having cooled down wants to give the Riott Squad another shot, but mid-match both teams are attacked by Mia Yim and Mercedes Martinez of Retribution, inserting them into a three-team feud. If we can then plug in Lana/Natalya in, then that is four full tag teams in the women’s tag team division on Raw alone. Let Nikki & Alexa play a little longer while they both become possessed, maybe throw together Lacey Evans and Dana Brooke as evil blonde Karens, and let Naomi and Carmella have fun together again and that’s a whole damn division!
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler - as happy as I am to see the probably-should-be-renamed Riott Squad back together, I don’t think it’s their time for the belts.
Ryan: TBD
Tim: Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler - *Homer Simpson indecisive noise*
WWE United States Title Match: Apollo Crews vs Bobby Lashley ©
The Background: After winning the title at WWE Payback, Lashley and the Hurt Locker (then only MVP and Shelton Benjamin) defeated Crews, Ricochet, and Cedric Alexander on the August 31st Raw. The Hurt Business gained a member when Alexander turned on his partners on the September 7th Raw. Crews was able to win a rematch by defeating Alexander on the September 21st Raw.
Fanboy Fantasy: The match takes place in Clash of (the) Champions Underground to give it hopefully something to make it feel different. Crews puts on a great show but Lashley is able to put him away again and end the feud. Lashley moves into feuding with Ricochet after Ric puts away Alexander for having turned on him and earning a shot at Lashley. Crews, still hanging out with Ricochet and Mustafa Ali, starts to work more tag team matches with Ali as we try to rebuild what used to be a tag team division. Also perhaps a quick US title feud with Erik/Raymond Rowe of the Viking Raiders while Ivar/Hanson recovers from neck surgery for the next year or so? Viking violence in the Raw Underground! That actually writes itself...
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Bobby Lashley - Lashley hopefully wins, finally ending the 1-on-1 feud and moves onto anything new.
Ryan: TBD
Tim: Bobby Lashley - Sorry Lashley retains and there is no Carl Weathers gif as a result. These are dark times.
WWE Intercontinental Title Ladder Match: AJ Styles vs Jeff Hardy © vs Sami Zayn ©
The Background: Sami Zayn, who won his WWE Intercontinental title way back at WWE Elimination Chamber and never lost it having chosen to stay home when the Quixotine (™) started. He was stripped of his championship and a tournament was held on Smackdown, eventually won by AJ Styles by defeating Daniel Bryan on the June 12th Smackdown. Jeff Hardy then defeated Styles to win the title on the August 21st Smackdown. However, Zayn is now back with the belt he never lost and he is pissed. Zayn interfered in a rematch between Styles and Hardy on the September 11th Smackdown while Styles defeated Zayn in a declared-after-the-fact non-title match on the September 18th Smackdown.
Fanboy Fantasy: The Jeff Hardy good-will tour continues with Hardy retaining and solidifying his title reign with a final spot where Hardy and Zayn are both on top of the ladder and Hardy rips the title literally out of Zayn’s hands to win/retain the title. Hardy goes on to win a one-on-one defense against Zayn before getting into a feud with Sheamus (again!) because Sheamus wants the one title he’s never won - the U.S. title. However, before Sheamus gets his title shot, he’s attacked backstage by a returning Big E. Hardy, being a good sport, gives Big E the shot because Sheamus previously cost Big E a title opportunity (history!) and Big E wins the title! The two shake hands, briefly team up to attack a disgruntled Sheamus post-match. Big E retains against Sheamus and goes on to co-defense the title with now-healthy Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods by enacting the Freebird rule on a singles title! Meanwhile Jeff Hardy gets a title shot and becomes roadkill against Roman Reigns at a future pay per view. Everybody wins!
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Jeff Hardy - the Jeff Hardy good-will tour is real and will continue for the time being.
Ryan: TBD
Tim: AJ Styles - Once again, I’m pretty sure that Jeff Hardy is dead or in jail so he’s out. I’ll take Styles.
WWE Raw Women’s Title Match: Zelina Vega vs Asuka ©
The Background: Asuka spent most of the month facing challenger and legend Mickie James - they teamed together to defeat Lana & Natalya on the September 7th Raw, and then Asuka defeated James via ref stoppage on the September 14th Raw because we can’t have nice things. However, Vega attacked Asuka post-match because that’s how you earn title shots. Vega went on to defeat James in a match on September 21st Raw to become the #1 contender.
Fanboy Fantasy: After causing (unintentionally) Garza to eat the pin in their tag team titles match, Andrade and Garza bicker while on the outside during Vega’s match. Garza stops Andrade from interfering causing Vega to easily be defeated by Asuka. As said above, this leads Vega to make the call to dump Garza and look for other partners for her main client - and why not her husband-in-real-life and dark-cat-loving-dutch-murder-ninja Aleister Black? Vega on the other hand gets more singles matches and some easy wins to give her some credentials going into an eventual second match with Asuka (one that doesn’t happen right away - give Asuka some more Mickie James love and bring Bianca Belair back to do literally anything!
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Asuka - it’s Asuka!
Ryan: TBD
Tim: Asuka - I will not dignify this question with an answer.
WWE Smackdown Women’s Title Match: Nikki Cross vs Bayley ©
The Background: After losing the WWE Women’s Tag Team titles at WWE Payback and their rematch on the September 4th Smackdown, Bayley finally attacked/murdered Sasha Banks. Nikki Cross, now dealing with her partner’s potential-possession by Sister Abigail (wrestling!) won a fatal four way match against possessed-partner Alexa Bliss, Lacey Evans, and Tamina on the September 11th Smackdown. Cross tried to question Bliss about the possession, but Bliss told her everything was fine. Sounds like something a possessed person would say. Also, please ignore the times Cross unsuccessfully challenged for Bayley’s championship recently at WWE The Horror Show at Extreme Rules and the July 31st Smackdown - WWE is hoping you do!
Fanboy Fantasy: Sasha Banks interferes and costs Bayley the title - they need to feud forever and not over championships. Nikki goes on to defend the title and keeps winning matches while her definitely-possesed partner interferes whenever Cross isn’t looking. After a month or two Cross finally catches Bliss interfering for her and tries to put an end to it only to go into her next defense against Charlotte Flair to lose her title quickly. Yes, Flair gets the belt again and yes that is supposed to piss you off. Nikki, only now realizing she hasn’t won a damn thing on her own and more importantly her best friend IS POSSESSED decides she needs to get in touch with the old Nikki Cross (cue NXT flashback footage) and the only way to truly do that is for a little exorcism! She must exorcise Sister Abigail from Alexa Bliss and take the demon into herself. Nikki wants to play!
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Nikki Cross - what better way to ensure Bayley and Sasha want to murder eachother for the next 6 months than to have Banks cost Bayley her title that she’s held for nearly a year (and realistically for almost a year and a half)? Do it.
Ryan: TBD
Tim: Bayley - I’m finally going to pick against Nikki Cross which means she’ll probably finally win. Still going with Bayley.
WWE Universal Title Match: Jey Uso vs Roman Reigns ©
The Background: Roman Reigns won the WWE Universal title after signing his contract for his WWE Payback match while on his way to the ring while Braun Strowman and then-champion Bray Wyatt murdered each other in the ring. Also on that show, Big E defeated Sheamus and Matt Riddle defeated Baron Corbin. These four men were to compete in a #1 contendership match on the September 4th Smackdown, but Sheamus attacked Big E and Jey Uso was plugged in as his replacement - and won! The cousins teamed to defeat Corbin and Sheamus in tag team action on the September 11th Smackdown and then in Samoan Street Fight action on the September 18th Smackdown.
Fanboy Fantasy: Jey Uso requests that Heyman leave the ring so they can go cousin vs cousin all alone like they used to - however Roman declines. Back in the day, Jey always had Jimmy with him while Roman had to face them both, plus it’s not like Paul will interfere, he’s merely here for spiritual support. Heyman indeed does not interfere beyond cheering for Roman and Roman puts Uso away. Jey tries to shake his cousin’s hand but Roman again declines and walks away with Heyman, his new family. Right before they get through the curtain, Heavy Machinery’s music hits and Otis tries to cash in on the champion but Reigns brushes him off before Otis can get his contract to a referee. On the next Smackdown, Heavy Machinery challenges Roman to a tag team match and Roman asks Jey if he’ll have his back - Jey says despite what happened at Clash, they’re still family. Mid-match, Jey superkicks Roman and walks out, letting Otis pin the champ. In his excitement of winning the match, Otis quickly gives the referee his briefcase to cash-in for his belt - but is informed he only won the tag team match, he still needs to start a singles match for the title. Otis and Tucker quickly say that Otis is cashing in NOW only for the bell to ring and Otis to turn around right into a spear for a quick 1, 2, 3. This gives Otis a brief win over the champ but also finishes off his Money in the Bank run - it was always going to end this way.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Roman Reigns - it’s the Roman Show now and it intends to be for a long time. And it’s actually a good thing!
Ryan: TBD
Tim: Jey Uso - Jey Uso sounds like the name of a Star Wars character so I’m picking him. This is the way.
WWE World Title Ambulance Match: Randy Orton vs Drew McIntyre ©
The Background: Randy Orton was defeated by Keith Lee at WWE Payback one week after losing a title match against WWE Champion Drew McIntyre at WWE SummerSlam. The next night Lee, Orton, and Seth Rollins all won singles matches (beating Dolph Ziggler, Kevin Owens, and Rey Mysterio respectively) to face off in a triple threat to determine the new #1 contender on the August 31st Raw - Randy Orton won by pinning Rollins. McIntyre, having spent the last week at a Local Medical Facility, returned on the September 7th Raw via ambulance to attack Orton - this of course means we will now have an ambulance match (thanks, Local Medical Facility!). Also Retribution attacked McIntyre on the September 14th Raw before he and Lee could have a match.
Fanboy Fantasy: McIntyre is able to dispose of Orton via help from Keith Lee. Lee shows up near the end of the match and teases that he’ll turn on McIntyre for like a second but then helps McIntyre put Orton away. The next month we get a hey-thanks-for-the-help Lee/McIntyre title match between best friends at WWE Halloween Havoc (the people demand it!) before they both join Team Raw in BRAND DOMINATION at Survivor Series. McIntyre (and Lee) begins feuding with Andrade and Aleister Black that ACTUALLY USES NXT HISTORY throughout December and January getting us through the Royal Rumble until the Rumble winner makes his intentions known to still-WWE Champion Drew McIntyre. Spoilers for some fantasy WrestleMania 37 booking (maybe) coming soon!
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Randy Orton - I really really really want McIntyre to retain but I think Orton will actually get it this time. As long as it’s not due to Lee interfering? I want McIntyre and Lee to be best friends for a lot longer!
Ryan: TBD
Tim: Drew McIntyre - McIntyre continues his streak.
That’s it for our WWE Clash of Champions preview. We’ll be back next week (FUCK, AGAIN!?) with NXT Takeover XXXI on October 4th. At least it’s a Takeover...
We might be back after that with Impact Bound for Glory on October 24, 2020.
Probably not though.
Thanks for joining us again and be sure to subscribe on Facebook and follow https://www.quixotronic.com/ for more questionable content.