We’re back with a preview for this weekend’s WWE Extreme Rules 2020. This year’s show is branded as “The Horror Show at Extreme Rules” which really sounds like it should be in October, but dates no longer mean anything in the #quixotine (trademark pending) so guess what everyone, it’s Halloween! If only they’d bring back the Halloween Havoc branding from WCW.
This weekend also has Impact Wrestling’s latest show Slammiversary - I’m not going to write a full preview because I don’t watch Impact on a regular basis but here are my quick predictions:
The Rascalz (Dezmond Xavier & Zachary Wentz) vs TBD
Kyle: Good Brothers (Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows) def. Rascalz
Alisha Edwards vs Havok vs Kiera Hogan vs Kimber Lee vs Kylie Rae vs Nevaeh vs Madison Rayne vs Rosemary vs Susie vs Tasha Steelz vs Taya Valkyrie
Kyle: Alisha Edwards
Impact Tag Team Titles Match: Ken Shamrock & Sami Callihan vs The North (Ethan Page & Josh Alexander) ©
Kyle: Ken Shamrock & Sami Callihan
Impact X-Division Title Match: Chris Bey vs Willie Mack ©
Kyle: Willie Mack
TNA World Title “Old School Rules” Match: Tommy Dreamer vs Moose ©
Kyle: Moose
Impact Knockouts Title Match: Deonna Purrazzo vs Jordynne Grace ©
Kyle: Jordynne Grace
Impact World Title Match: Ace Austin vs Eddie Edwards vs Trey Miguel vs TBD
Kyle: EC3
Here are the current Quixotronic Bullpen Prediction Stats as they stand:
Kyle: 62% (31-19)
Tim: 52% (11-10)
Ryan: 0% (0-2)
Who will survive!?
If you want to watch live on Sunday, you’ll want to subscribe to the WWE Network. Until then, here’s your Quixotronic preview of the show.
WWE Smackdown Tag Team Titles Tables Match: Cesaro & Shinsuke Nakamura vs New Day (Big E & Kofi Kingston) ©
The Background: Cesaro & Shinsuke Nakamura have been attacking New Day trying to get a titles shot. Nakamura defeated Kingston in singles action on the July 3rd Smackdown while the teams went to a no contest on the July 10th Smackdown when Cesaro & Nakamura inserted tables into the mix. Cesaro defeated Big E in a singles match on the July 17th Smackdown for the right to choose the stipulation to their match: tables.
Fanboy Fantasy: Nakamura is eliminated first by New Day but Cesaro is able to hold his own with both me. At some point Sheamus shows up and while the ref isn’t looking he helps Cesaro eliminate Kofi, leaving Cesaro vs Big E. Sheamus starts cheating more and more for Cesaro until Xavier Woods returns and eliminates Cesaro by himself while the ref is distracted, giving the match to New Day. On the next Smackdown, Cesaro & Nakamura complain about Woods not actually being in the match so they should have won, ignoring Sheamus’s help. This leads us to a 6-man tag for the titles where Cesaro/Sheamus/Nakamura take the titles.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Cesaro & Shinsuke Nakamura - they’ve gotten the upper hand on the New Day the last few weeks so by all rights the New Day should win but I think Cesaro/Nakamura are due.
Tim: New Day - Nothing says EXTREME like making a pick with no thought put into it so I’m picking New Day just because.
WWE United States Title Match: MVP vs Apollo Crews ©
The Background: MVP has somehow become one of the puppet masters of Raw and has been actively scouting members of the Raw roster. Along with Bobby Lashley he also had his eyes on Apollo Crews who holds the belt that MVP is most well-known for holding a decade ago in WWE. MVP approached Crews on the June 15th Raw to join him, though when Crews officially declined the next week Lashley attacked him. MVP then defeated Crews in a non-title match on June 22nd Raw with the help of Lashley. MVP took the belt and debuted the newly-designed belt on the June 29th Raw. Now they will fight to see who keeps the new belt.
Fanboy Fantasy: MVP has also been looking into managing Cedric Alexander but not Ricochet, so Alexander/Ricochet accompany Crews to the ring while MVP is backed by Lashley. They have a solid match while Alexander and Ricochet wait for Lashley to attack but Lashley doesn’t move - he just stands motionless in the corner staring down the two the whole match. Eventually Crews gets the win and still no interference. Lashley helps MVP to the back, but not before he gets a mic and announces that it was too bad he couldn’t get the belt because that put Crews’ contract out of his price range, but that’s not the case for Alexander and Ricochet - before the match he had purchased their contracts and he is now officially their manager. This eventually gets us Crews vs Alexander and Crews vs Ricochet - both of which will be fantastic.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Apollo Crews - MVP doesn’t need the belt, though I love that he was used to introduce the newly designed title. Crews gets the pin while Ricochet & Cedric Alexander distract Bobby Lashley.
Tim: Apollo Crews - I'm sticking with my Apollo Crews sounds EXTREMEly similar to Apollo Creed and my love for the Rocky franchise is... deep and complex -- no, I'm just kidding it's EXTREME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Eye for an Eye” Match: Rey Mysterio vs Seth Rollins
The Background: Rollins and Mysterio have been feuding for a little while now. Rollins tried to stab Mysterio’s eye into the steel stairs way back on the May 11th Raw. Mysterio teased he would retire but (surprise!) he did not. Rollins, rolling with his “Monday Night Messiah” vibe, asked Mysterio for forgiveness for what he will do to him when they face off. On the July 6th Raw Mysterio and Kevin Owens defeated Rollins and Murphy to pick their stipulation and Mysterio picked an “Eye for an Eye” match - to win you must pull out the other’s eye. Wrestling - it’s for the kids!
Fanboy Fantasy: I assume this match will take place in the Lucha Underground arena. During the match Buddy Murphy, Austin Theory, and Aleister Black all get involved. Black gets Murphy/Theory out of the way while Mysterio is able to pluck Rollins’ eye out. Mysterio wins but while he celebrates (?), Murphy and Theory are able to escape Aleister Black and attack Mysterio, holding him down for a bloody Rollins to pull out one of Mysterio’s eyes! The match is a wash because they both lose an eye! Yeah? Sure, let’s do that.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Rey Mysterio - In theory it should be easier for Rollins to win and you just cover one of Mysterio’s eyes on his mask, right? But come on, let’s get Seth Rollins in an eyepatch! He’ll be the second Shield member to wear one after Chris Jericho spiked Jon Moxley/Dean Ambrose’s eye out earlier this year and then please please please when Roman Reigns comes back then have him in an eyepatch too, even for just one episode. But yeah, having an eyepatch will just fuel Rollins as a messiah more than Mysterio with a patch.
Tim: Rey Mysterio - WTF IS THIS? Someone is going to lose any eye? According to Dwight Shrute, the eyes are the groin of the face! This is more than EXTREME, guys! More like EXTREMEly gross.
“Swamp Fight” Match: Braun Strowman vs Bray Wyatt
The Background: After Strowman defeated both John Morrison and The Miz in a handicap title defense, Bray Wyatt returned on the June 19th Smackdown to inform Strowman that he was not done with him and appeared to be back to his original Wyatt Family version of Bray Wyatt. The next week Strowman challenged Wyatt to a non-title “Swamp Fight” match. That’s about it. Technically Otis Dozovic is still out there somewhere with his Money in the Bank briefcase but he hasn’t been seen for a while.
Fanboy Fantasy: Maybe it’s because I’ve wanted them to pair up Strowman and Wyatt into some sort of mindless golem (Strowman) and puppet master (Wyatt) team for so long that I’ve become bored with their storyline. Why is this non-title? I can buy Strowman defeating swampy Wyatt in a title defense to show again that he’s past that part of his life but why make it non-title? The champion should defend! So, during the match, it turns out Otis, Tucky, and Mandy Rose are all hanging out watching the match in a shack or something. Tucky and Rose try to get Otis to cash-in his briefcase during the match and Otis tries to but Wyatt talks him out of it in between Strowman smashing him. Wyatt is able to whisper something into Otis’ ear and Otis lays back to the confusion of Rose and Tucky. However, because he was busy, Strowman is able to smash Wyatt with the whole cabin and win the match. The next night on Smackdown Otis reveals that he wants to cash-in on the New Day because he and Tucky are best friends and Wyatt told him it was the right thing to do. Strowman comes out and even offers a Universal title match to Otis but he says no. Later that night Heavy Machinery are able to defeat the New Day and become the new champions. However, the next week in their celebration, Otis reveals that he didn’t tell his best friend one thing - since Wyatt gave him the idea, he had to give their first title defense to Wyatt and a partner of his choosing. Wyatt comes out and reveals that he chooses Strowman as his unwilling partner. Or the ghost of John Cena, why not.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Bray Wyatt - it’s a non-title match for some reason. A champion never wins a non-title match in WWE. Hopefully this means The Fiend will take pity on us all and win the title at SummerSlam and end this boring title reign.
Tim: Bray Wyatt - If this match doesn't feature some kind of Firefly Funhouse thing I will be EXTREMEly disappointed.
WWE World Title TBD Match: Dolph Ziggler vs Drew McIntyre ©
The Background: Drew McIntyre returned to Raw back on the April 16, 2018 edition of Raw and aligned himself with Dolph Ziggler. The two would go on to win the WWE Raw Tag Team titles one time and generally had a solid partnership. They finally turned on each other but Ziggler was sent to Smackdown so not much came of it. Drew since then went on to main event WWE WrestleMania 36 (night two) and won the WWE World title. On the June 22nd Raw Ziggler (along with Robert Roode) was traded back to Raw and immediately challenged his old partner for the title. McIntyre agreed and even let Ziggler pick their stipulation, though at press time that stipulation has not been revealed.
Fanboy Fantasy: I would have the show open with a cage above the ring and since none of the other matches are cage matches we will imply that it is indeed a cage match that Dolph has picked. When the match starts, McIntyre looks up to await the cage to be lowered but Dolph immediately kicks him in the balls and runs to get a table because it’s a tables match*, not a cage match. If they can get an extra reinforced table in there, have a spot where Dolph by all rights should have elbowed McIntyre through a table but the sumbitch doesn’t break so the match continues. Eventually McIntyre secures the win by getting Ziggler through another table.
*I wrote this before the tables match between Cesaro/Nakamura and New Day was announced and I don’t feel like changing the stipulation. Cheers!
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Drew McIntyre - I actually like Dolph Ziggler and I love that they’re finally doing a full feud with these two, but there’s no way Dolph is getting the title. He should be a bigger threat to McIntyre specifically as champ but he doesn’t feel like it.
Tim: Drew McIntyre - I EXTREMEly pick McIntyre because I think he will have the belt for an EXTREMEly long time
WWE Smackdown Women’s Title Match: Nikki Cross vs Bayley ©
The Background: The Golden Roll Models have been all over everything lately using their WWE Women’s Tag Team titles as a means to start fights on both Raw and Smackdown (not that they’ve said that’s why and they really should). Bayley has been WWE Smackdown Women’s champion for practically since May 2019 besides literally a week when Charlotte Flair won it back in October, and Bayley and Banks have held the Tag Team titles since May 2020 beating Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross who they’ve been feuding with ever since. Nikki Cross won a 4-way match on the June 26th Smackdown to earn the #1 contendership and more recently Banks and Bayley successfully retained their tag team titles on the July 10th Smackdown against Cross and Bliss again.
Fanboy Fantasy: This match goes on first and Cross tricks Bayley into allowing the match to be a hardcore match. One would think this would give the edge to Cross but do not count out Bayley Dos Belts. It was hugger Bayley who couldn’t use a kendo stick against heel Alexa Bliss back in 2017. Golden Roll Model Bayley is a badass and has no problem stepping up to Nikki’s game and does just that. The kendo stick is out and Bayley goes nuts on Cross who smiles the whole time. Bliss comes out to try and help but Banks counters Bliss and both Bayley/Banks kendo stick Bliss to death. Bayley pins Cross and secures her belts and let’s Banks know that she gets her second belt next.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Bayley - As much as I really really want Nikki Cross to win the title, I don’t think we’re going to get it here. We will, perhaps even the next week on Smackdown, but I don’t think we’ll get it here.
Tim: Nikki Cross - I keep picking Nikki Cross and losing but this is no time TO STOP BEING EXTREME!
WWE Raw Women’s Title Match: Sasha Banks vs Asuka ©
The Background: Asuka won her belt when it was given to her in lue of the Money in the Bank briefcase as Becky Lynch vacated her title after announcing she was pregnant. Since then she has successfully defended the title against both Nia Jax and Charlotte Flair. Over on Smackdown Sasha Banks decided that she wanted another title just like her best friend Bayley so she challenged Asuka to a match. Banks and Dolph Ziggler defeated Asuka and Drew McIntyre on the June 29th Raw while Asuka defeated Bayley in a champion vs champion match on the July 6th Raw. Banks and Bayley after defeating Bliss and Cross also successfully defended their titles against Asuka and Kairi Sane on the July 13th Raw.
Fanboy Fantasy: Bayley opened the show and Sasha Banks closes the show. Asuka is backed by Kairi Sane and Banks by a very confident Bayley. Once both are in the ring, Asuka spits green mist into the sky and the cage begins to lower as the ref kicks both Sane and Bayley out of the ring. Bayley immediately starts throwing a few weapons into the ring before Sane can stop her. Banks holds her own with Asuka though is visibly distracted by Bayley outside of the ring. At some point Bayley excuses herself and heads to the back and Banks starts gaining the advantage. A few minutes later Bayley waltzes back into the arena with a big grin on her face. This goes on for a few more minutes until Shayna Baszler literally climbs over the hockey plexiglass shield on the outside and tackles Kairi Sane and just dismantles her and literally drags her to the back. Asuka and Banks are both stunned at the sight until Bayley yells at Banks to get her head back into the match. Banks is about to get the pin until Io Shirai shows up from the crowd and attacks Bayley, hitting her with her NXT Women’s title. Banks again is distracted enough for Asuka to get the pin. Asuka and Shirai celebrate with their titles while Bayley consoles Banks who teases a turn but DOESN’T DO IT. On the next few Raw and Smackdown episodes it's revealed that Bayley contacted Baszler as a fellow Horsewoman as an insurance policy and we get both a 6-woman tag match between Bayley/Banks/Baszler and Asuka/Sane/Shirai along with a tag title defense against Asuka/Shirai. Bayley does soon lose her belt to Nikki Cross while Bayley and Banks hold onto their tag team titles until the Royal Rumble when they drop them to Ruby Riott and Liv Morgan. Then at WrestleMania we get a first: a singles non-title women’s grudge match.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Asuka - No one is ready for Asuka. Make this the main event you cowards!
Tim: Asuka - My EXTREME love for Asuka is EXTREMEly well documented and it would take EXTREME, nay, X-TREME!!! circumstances for me to ever pick against her. Instead of the usual Asuka dancing gif here is an EXTREME Asuka gif:
That’s it for our WWE Extreme Rules preview. Thanks for joining us again and be sure to subscribe on Facebook and follow https://www.quixotronic.com/ for more questionable content.