It's time for the Hottest Show of the Summer! The Coolest Show of the Summer? Shows because we get a Takeover also? A Takeover that's main eventing the weekend? Screw Roman Reigns, Don Joe is pleased. But yeah, it's the first NXT/WWE weekend in forever, so there's a lot of show.
WWE Live has been "coming home" over the last month and guess what? The Quixo-offices had primo seats to WWE coming home to Milwaukee a few weeks ago for a house show... er I mean live event! A coming home! Let's check out our first Quixo-House Show report! Seriously, this was going to be a regular segment until the #quixotine. Oh well?
WWE is really selling the "Summer of Cena" with a Top 10 list and other flashbacks to Cena's greatest hits.
Drew McIntyre defeated Sheamus in a non-title match after Sheamus talked trash about Milwaukee and said he'd rather wrestle in… *checks notes*… Green Bay? I guess? Jinder Mahal attacked McIntyre before and after the match, but McIntyre came out on top.
Nikki ASH defeated Charlotte Flair and Rhea Ripley in a triple-threat WWE Raw Women's title match - Nikki ran around like an excited monkey while Flair and Ripley traded big kicks.
Big E defeated Seth Rollins and then made out with his Money in the Bank briefcase. After finishing, Big E introduced Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods who then brought out the Milwaukee Bucks' own Bobby Portis! This brought out their opponents, Bobby Lashley and MVP.
The New Day defeated Bobby Lashley & MVP.
Sami Zayn came out for a fatal four-way WWE Intercontinental title match and called out Shinsuke Nakamura and Milwaukee's own Rick Boogz (or however they spell it) and tried to convince them that can play the guitar. It did not work out for him.
Apollo Crews defeated Sami Zayn, Shinsuke Nakamura, and Kevin Owens to retain the WWE Intercontinental title.
Bianca Belair defeated Sasha Banks in a WWE Smackdown Women's title match the day after Banks turned on Belair on that Friday's episode of Smackdown.
The main event was John Cena and the Mysterios versus Roman Reigns and the Usos - my cub reporter needed file important paperwork (go to bed) so we left mid-match. It appears that Cena and los Mysterios were victorious some how.
*I did not record this... just in case anyone is looking.
Let's check in with the results from the latest round of the all-new all-different Quixotronic Wrestling Shame Challenge!
Previously on Fanboy Wrestletronic…
Standings going into WWE Money in the Bank 2021 :
1st Place: Kyle 80.8% (21-5)
2nd Place: Tim 68.0% (17-8)
3rd Place: Ryan 56.0% (14-11)
4th Place: Andy 40.0% (10-15)
WWE Money in the Bank 2021 results :
WWE Smackdown Tag Team Titles Match : The Usos (Jey & Jimmy Uso) vs Dominik & Rey Mysterio ©
Your Winners, and NEW WWE Smackdown Tag Team Champions : The Usos
Andy: n/a (0-0)
Kyle: n/a (0-0)
Ryan: n/a (0-0)
Tim: n/a (0-0)
Women's Money in the Bank Ladder Match : Alexa Bliss vs Asuka vs Liv Morgan vs Naomi vs Natalya vs Nikki ASH vs Tamina vs Zelina Vega
Your Winner : Nikki ASH
Andy: Alexa Bliss (0-1)
Kyle: Nikki ASH (1-0)
Ryan: Nikki ASH (1-0)
Tim: Asuka (0-1)
WWE Raw Tag Team Titles Match : Viking Raiders (Erik & Ivar) vs AJ Styles & Omos ©
Your Winners, and STILL WWE Raw Tag Team Champions : AJ Styles & Omos
Andy: Viking Raiders (0-2)
Kyle: AJ Styles & Omos (2-0)
Ryan: Viking Raiders (1-1)
Tim: AJ Styles & Omos (1-1)
WWE World Title Match : Kofi Kingston vs Bobby Lashley ©
Your Winner, and STILL WWE World Champion : Bobby Lashley
Andy: Bobby Lashley (1-2)
Kyle: Bobby Lashley (3-0)
Ryan: Kofi Kingston (1-2)
Tim: Bobby Lashley (2-1)
WWE Raw Women's Title Match : Charlotte Flair vs Rhea Ripley ©
Your Winner, and NEW WWE Raw Women's Champion : Charlotte Flair
Andy: Charlotte Flair (2-2)
Kyle: Charlotte Flair (4-0)
Ryan: Rhea Ripley (1-3)
Tim: Charlotte Flair (3-1)
Men's Money in the Bank Ladder Match : Big E vs Drew McIntyre vs John Morrison vs Kevin Owens vs Matt Riddle vs Ricochet vs Seth Rollins vs Shinsuke Nakamura
Your Winner : Big E
Andy: Big E (3-2)
Kyle: Drew McIntyre (4-1)
Ryan: Matt Riddle (1-4)
Tim: Matt Riddle (3-2)
WWE Universal Title Match : Edge vs Roman Reigns ©
Your Winner, and STILL WWE World Champion : Roman Reigns
Andy: Edge (3-3)
Kyle: Roman Reigns (5-1)
Ryan: Edge (1-5)
Tim: Edge (3-3)
And now the conclusion…
New standings after WWE Money in the Bank 2021 :
1st Place: Kyle 81.3% (26-6)
2nd Place: Tim 64.5% (20-11)
3rd Place: Ryan 48.4% (15-16)
4th Place: Andy 41.9% (13-18)
Who will survive!?
If you want to watch WWE SummerSlam 2021 live on Saturday and NXT Takeover 36 live on Sunday, you’ll want to subscribe to Peacock. Until then, here’s your Quixotronic preview of the show.
NXT Takeover 36
Million Dollar Title Match (if Cameron Grimes loses, Ted DiBiase becomes LA Knight's butler) : Cameron Grimes (w/ Ted DiBiase) vs LA Knight ©
The Background: Cameron Grimes, the million dollar hillbilly, ran into the million dollar man classic, Ted DiBiase, on his exploits around town. In doing so, DiBiase found himself drawn back in and came to the Capitol Wrestling Center with his eye on not just Grimes, but also newcomer LA Knight. DiBiase brought back his old Million Dollar title and the two faced off at NXT Takeover: In Your House 2021 in a ladder match to determine the new champion with LA Knight coming out on top. Knight, not surprising for anyone, did not accept Ted DiBiase as his defacto manager when presented with the title on the June 15th NXT, putting Grimes on a warpath for not only the title, but also to regain DiBiase's honor. At the July 6th NXT Great American Bash, LA Knight again defeated Grimes with the added stipulation that Grimes must now act as Knight's butler. Now they will fight again and if Grimes loses, DiBiase will replace Grimes as LA Knight's butler. Which would work out for him, right?
Fanboy Fantasy: LA Knight dominates early on but Grimes gets the crowd and DiBiase behind him and he is able to power through. He survives pin after pin attempt, with even the announces actively believing that he might actually win this time! However, once Grimes hits an Orange Crush, instead of pinning Knight, he rolls under Knight and lets a downed Knight pin him! Grimes doesn't win the title, but he's no longer Knight's butler, DiBiase is! DiBiase asks what the hell is going on and Grimes throws a wad of money at him and runs off.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Cameron Grimes - I'm not one for 50/50 booking, but I think Grimes needs the win more here. Will DiBiase as the butler really be any different than Grimes as the butler?
Andy: Cameron Grimes
Ryan: LA Knight
Tim: LA Knight
NXT UK Men's Title Match : Ilja Dragunov vs WALTER ©
The Background: Ilja Dragunov won a #1 contendership battle royal on the April 2nd 2020 NXT UK to earn a title shot to WALTER's NXT UK title at the upcoming NXT Takeover Dublin event to be held April 26th, 2020. Based on those dates, it did not work out as we all started making #quixotine jokes on our Quixo-based websites to the delight of only ourselves. NXT UK went into hiatus until September 2020 with the hope that NXT UK Takeover could be moved to October 2020, and then to June 2021. It was officially cancelled. Outside of figuring out how live events work, Dragunov finally got his title shot on the closed-set October 29th 2020 NXT UK, losing to WALTER. WALTER has since gone on to have successful NXT UK title defenses against A-Kid on the January 14th NXT UK, Tommaso Ciampa at NXT Takeover: Stand & Deliver, and Rampage Brown the next night on the April 8th NXT UK Prelude. Finally everything came up Ilja once again when he defeated Joe Coffey and Rampage Brown in a new #1 contendership match on the June 24th NXT UK. Originally to be held on the July 15th NXT UK, WALTER injured his hand presumably by slapping a wall down or something so now the match will be held in the States. Dragunov tried to establish dominance in a match with former NXT UK champion Pete Dunne on the August 10th domestic NXT, but WALTER's presence was too much (obviously) and caused the distraction Dunne needed to steal the win. Dragunov rallied against WALTER in the end, so maybe he does have momentum?
Fanboy Fantasy: WALTER smashes, but Dragunov survives. After 20 minutes of smashing, WALTER gets frustrated that Ilja isn't dead yet and starts getting frustrated. Dragunov is able to use this to his advantage by causing WALTER to harm himself - running into the turnbuckles, missing leg drops, he uses WALTER's mass against him. Eventually he's able to hit the Flying Headbutt on a downed WALTER and makes the pin - new NXT UK champion!
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Ilja Dragunov - WALTER is awesome, but maybe it's time? Maybe?
Andy: Ilja Dragunov
Ryan: WALTER
Tim: Ilja Dragunov
Best 2 Out of 3 Falls Match (standard match for first fall, street fight for second fall, cage match for third fall) : Adam Cole vs Kyle O'Reilly
The Background: Adam Cole and Kyle O'Reilly have been circling each other as adversaries for months now after the Undisputed Era finally imploded. Honestly, just read our write-up of their first (and unsanctioned) match back at NXT Takeover Stand and Deliver. They have some history. Since O'Reilly defeated Cole there (though not according to the history books), O'Reilly's next big match was in a fatal-four-way for the NXT Title against NXT Men's Champion Karrion Kross at NXT Takeover: In Your House 2021, though Cole returned just before to weasel his way into the match to make it a fatal-five way. Though O'Reilly had Cole in a submission, Kross snuck up and locked his Kross Jacket submission on O'Reilly to pass him out and retain his title. Cole and O'Reilly couldn't quit each other so met again at July 6th NXT Great American Bash where Cole came out on top. Now they will settle the score the only way NXT allows it: in a best 2 out of 3 falls match with the first fall being a standard wrestling match, the second fall being a street fight, and the third fall (if and when necessary) being a cage match.
Fanboy Fantasy: First, we're pretending that Adam Cole (bay-bay) is staying with WWE and moving on to Raw or Smackdown. If he actually leaves for AEW (which I actually expect more even if I think he'd be lost in the shuffle), then I'd have him lose in two falls and ignore the cage that is set up above the ring anyway. O'Reilly wins the first (standard match) fall since he lost previously in their standard wrestling match at NXT's Great American Bash. Cole rallies and wins the street fight since he lost their unsanctioned match at NXT Takeover Stand and Deliver. The cage lowers and now they really start murdering each other. We get the rare occasion of blood from both men and they stop trying to pin one another - only escape. But Roderick Strong and Malcolm Bivens show up and start blocking the exits to the cage - Strong won't let them win that way. They need to finish this for real. O'Reilly is able to kick the cage door into Strong's face clearing the door, but then grabs a chain and locks the door from the inside. If there is a second door, then Cole sees this, gets shitty, and then locks his side as well. Strong's an ass, but he's right. They continue to murder each other with O'Reilly coming out on top. Cole is going somewhere else and he needs to go out on his back.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Kyle O'Reilly - Cole is going somewhere that isn't NXT, so O'Reilly needs to win. Plus, he has a good name.
Andy: Adam Cole
Ryan: Kyle O'Reilly
Tim: Kyle O'Reilly
NXT Women's Title Match : Dakota Kai vs Raquel González ©
The Background: Dakota Kai and Raquel González started teaming up back in the beforetimes right after Kai turned on her best friend Tegan Nox and decided she needed a heater. Enter Raquel González as that heater. The two were able to win the first women's Dusty Rhodes Classic tag team tournament at NXT Takeover: Vengeance Day defeating Ember Moon and Shotzi Blackheart in the finals. This earned them a WWE Women's Tag Team titles shot on the March 3rd NXT but due to pro-WWE and anti-NXT shenanigans, González and Kai lost the match. Thankfully the next week on the March 10th NXT, NXT General Manager William Regal made everything better by awarding the new NXT Women's Tag Team titles to Kai and González only for them to lose them later that night to Blackheart and Moon. Everything for the two was made better when González defeated Io Shirai to win the NXT Women's title at NXT Takeover: Stand & Deliver because they are best friends forever. González successfully defended against Mercedes Martinez on the May 11th NXT, Ember Moon at NXT Takeover: In Your House 2021, and Xia Li on the July 20th NXT, all with Kai at her side. González issued an open challenge on the July 27th NXT that went unanswered because she's clearly beaten everyone - until Kai turned on her best friend. Dakota Kai is reaching Kevin Owens-levels of friendship. Now the two will fight.
Fanboy Fantasy: Dakota Kai rushes González before the match starts and kicks the shit out of her arms and legs. Security tries to break them up, but every time they're separated, one of them breaks out and the brawl begins again. González whips Kai into the outside turnbuckle, Kai hits a flying kick from the CWC fence barrier. At this point Triple H even makes an appearance as the referee asks what they're supposed to do at this point - the announces get word that it sounds like the match will start once they get in the ring. Unfortunately, Kai pulls a chair and hits a Van Daminator into González face, rolls her into the ring, and just as the bell rings Kai rolls González up for the pin and the title. On future episodes of NXT, González is able to correctly argue that the whole match was bullshit and gets her rematch sooner than later and wins the belt back. And then Kai wins it back in the rematch to that. I like me some long title reigns, but screw it, let's trade it back and forth for a bit.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Dakota Kai - I'm not feeling González as a character anymore, so throw it over to Kai and let's see how it goes.
Andy: Dakota Kai
Ryan: Raquel González
Tim: Raquel González
NXT Men's Title Match : Samoa Joe vs Karrion Kross ©
The Background: Former two-time NXT Men's champion Samoa Joe was released by WWE on April 15th, 2021 along with the Iconics Billie Kay & Peyton Royce, Mickie James, Chelsea Green, Tucker, Kalisto, Mojo Rawley, Bo Dallas and Wesley Blake. He was never heard from again. Over on NXT, Karrion Kross originally won the NXT Men's title at NXT Takeover XXX by defeating the finally-healthy Keith Lee, but sustained a shoulder injury in doing so. After vacating the belt and allowing Finn Bálor to keep it warm for him, Kross returned to regain the title he never technically lost at NXT Takeover: Stand & Deliver, making him also a two-time NXT Men's title holder, along with Joe, Bálor, and current WWE Intercontinental champion Shinsuke Nakamura. Kross, mad with power, has since made NXT General Manager William Regal's life a living hell as chaos reigned in NXT. Traditionally the offices of a professional wrestling group is much more mild-mannered. Kross's demands caused the fatal-five-way match for his NXT Men's title at NXT Takeover: In Your House 2021 which he won over two former champions (Adam Cole and Johnny Gargano) along with Kyle O'Reilly and Pete Dunne. Regal, feeling he was losing control, tried to vacate his own General Manager post on the June 15th NXT by introducing his replacement: the newly re-signed Samoa Joe. I lied when I said he was never heard from again. You probably noticed that since his name is in the match listing and there's a video game picture of him posted. Either way, Joe informed Regal that he would not replace him, but gleefully act as his enforcer when needed and/or provoked. Thankfully everyone was smart and didn't provoke Samoa Joe. That's just common sense. Just kidding again, Kross provoked Joe after he retained his title against Johnny Gargano on the July 13th NXT that Joe so helpfully guest-refereed. Joe did not take too kindly to this act of transgression. Samoa Joe has officially rejoined the active roster and will now face Karrion Kross for the NXT Men's title. Elsewhere, Kross is also on the the Raw roster losing to Keith Lee and Jeff Hardy where both have pinned Kross, despite him being an unstoppable monster who has never been defeated in NXT. What the hell, Raw?
Fanboy Fantasy: The two big boys smash into each other for a bit, but then Joe decides he's done and ends it - he locks the Coquina Clutch and waits for Kross to pass out. Which he does. Daddy's home, Joe's the champion. Kross (and Scarlett this time) shows up to Raw and we don't discuss him being from NXT at all. As WWE usually does anyway. Joe, on the other hand, admits that while he enjoyed being in the ring again, he doesn't believe he is worthy of holding the belt just yet. He just came back and while it wasn't luck, he's not the man to hold the brand. He vacates the NXT title and we have a tournament! Our final eight men include Austin Theory, Cameron Grimes, Kyle O'Reilly, LA Knight, Pete Dunne, Samoa Joe, Santos Escobar, and Tommaso Ciampa. Joe beats Ciampa because I want that match, Dunne beats Theory after botched interference by Gargano, Santos Escobar beats Grimes, and O'Reilly beats Knight after intended interference by his butler Ted DiBiase (and thus we end the butler stuff). Dunne shocks the world and beats Joe (again, I want to see those two fight) while O'Reilly beats Escobar in a slapper. At the next Takeover, O'Reilly beats Dunne to become the new NXT Men's champion. But then: WALTER is back. And he's hungry for gold.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Samoa Joe - look, we just had a veteran who returned and held the belt for a few months with Finn Bálor, and I love Joe, but do we need to do this? I guess so and I'll enjoy it, but especially if NXT is supposed to get "more developmental" then Joe is the wrong person to hold the belt. Based on Raw booking at this point so is Kross. Here's to Pete Dunne defeating Joe at the next Takeover?
Andy: Karrion Kross
Ryan: Samoa Joe
Tim: Samoa Joe
WWE SummerSlam 2021
Alexa Bliss vs Eva Marie (w/ Piper Niven)
The Background: After being teased (threatened?) for a while, Eva Marie returned "to action" on the June 14th Raw when she instead had her new protégé former-NXT UK member Piper Niven (whom she renamed "Doudrop") face of against and defeat Naomi. In the lead-up to WWE Money in the Bank, Eva Marie and Niven were on the winning side of an 8-woman tag match that saw Alexa Bliss on the other side on the July 5th Raw (Nia Jax pinned Nikki ASH for the win). Marie and Niven tried to win a WWE Women's Tag Team titles shot, but lost to the champions when Bliss and her sentient-puppet Lilly distracted Marie on the July 26th Raw. Bliss even declared Marie to be a loser on the August 2nd Raw. Now they will fight. Or Bliss and Niven will. Or Lilly and Niven will. Shrug emoji.
Fanboy Fantasy: Marie sends Niven in to face Bliss for her, but Bliss mystically sends her flying out of the ring. Marie tries to run away, but Bliss gives her the Fiend stare and Marie stops and begins walking backwards back to the ring via motions not of her own. Bliss then pulls her back into the ring, hits a Sister Abigail, and pins her. By this point Niven is already recovered and did not try to stop the pin.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Alexa Bliss and/or Lilly - duh.
Andy: Alexa Bliss
Ryan: Eva Marie/Piper Niven
Tim: Alexa Bliss
Drew McIntyre vs Jinder Mahal
The Background: Former WWE World Champion Jinder Mahal returned on the May 10th Raw by defeating former WWE World Champion Jeff Hardy. Former WWE World Champion Drew McIntyre qualified for this year's men's Money in the Bank match in a last-chance triple threat match on the June 28th Raw instead of allowing former WWE World Champions Jinder Mahal and Jeff Hardy the opportunity to compete. While Hardy shrugged it off, Mahal took it personally and challenged his former 3MB brother McIntyre to a match on the July 5th Raw that Mahal lost. Post-match, him and his upgraded Bollywood Boyz Veer and Shanky attacked Mahal and *checks notes* stole his sword. Mahal retaliated on the July 12th Raw by destroying Mahal's new motorcycle. McIntyre then defeated Veer on the July 26th Raw and the both Shanky and Veer on the August 2nd Raw. Mahal hired cash-strapped Baron Corbin to attack McIntyre on the August 9th Raw, and then McIntyre defeated Veer and Shanky again in the August 16th Raw. He got his sword back at some point too. Mahal still does not have his motorcycle back.
Fanboy Fantasy: This is just a straight-forward match - Veer and Shanky are barred from ringside and are not a factor. They have an even match until Mahal is able to dodge a Claymore, hit a Khallas in its wake and get a 1-2-3. Shocking? I'm not sure, but we have now entered the Humbling of Drew McIntyre. In the draft he gets switched over to Raw, buckles the fuck up, and we get a long program between McIntyre and Reigns.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Jinder Mahal - I'm not just booking it, I'm calling it. Mahal is a solid enough character at least, and I think McIntyre would be more than willing to give his friend the rub.
Andy: Drew McIntyre
Ryan: Jinder Mahal
Tim: Drew McIntyre
Edge vs Seth Rollins
The Background: Edge returned after his (and Daniel Bryan's) WrestleMania defeat on the June 25th Smackdown and immediately attacked WWE Universal Champion Roman Reigns. He then announced the next week on July 2nd Smackdown that he received his wish: a WWE Universal title shot at Reigns, but Seth Rollins did not appreciated Edge being handed a title shot after Rollins himself had been gunning for one. Rollins qualified for the men's WWE Money in the Bank ladder match but failed to win the briefcase, so did the next best thing and attacked Edge during his title match and cost him the belt. Edge, as wrestlers do, challenged Rollins to a match at SummerSlam on the August 6th Smackdown which Rollins accepted, informing us that he will stomp Edge's neck and end his comeback.
Fanboy Fantasy: These guys go for damn near thirty minutes, trading finishers, pin attempts, everything. They are on the same level. Eventually Edge is able to keep Rollins down for a 1-2-3 and the win. Just as Edge is celebrating, Adam Cole emerges from the crowd and attacks Edge with a chair. As he attacks over and over, Rollins comes to and very much enjoys what is happening to Edge. Cole finally stops and looks over to Rollins who excitedly offers his hand - only for Cole to smack him with the chair as well. Adam Cole is done with NXT and he plans on laying waste to everyone on Smackdown - though since he's a heel we need to keep him away from Roman at least. You know what? Cole challenge Nakamura for the WWE Intercontinental title on his first live Smackdown and wins the damn thing. He then defends it every Smackdown against everyone for the next year.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Edge - Edge needs a solid win, even if he's here to put the current guys over.
Andy: Edge
Ryan: Seth Rollins
Tim: Edge
WWE Smackdown Tag Team Titles Match : Dominik & Rey Mysterio vs the Usos (Jey & Jimmy Uso) ©
The Background: Father-son team Los Mysterios (Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero's son Dominik Mysterio) won the WWE Smackdown Tag Team titles at WWE WrestleMania Backlash 2021 by defeating Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode. Then Rey Mysterio got mixed up with WWE Universal Champion Roman Reigns, challenging him to a title match - but what he got was a Hell in a Cell match with the Head of the Table. On the June 18th Smackdown, Reigns easily defeated Mysterio after he had decided he couldn't wait until the actual WWE Hell in a Cell 2021 show two days later. To open then July 16th Smackdown, the first in-person episode, Los Mysterios teamed with Edge to defeat Reigns and his cousins Jey & Jimmy Uso, so the Usos defeated them in a title match at WWE Money in the Bank, winning the WWE Smackdown Tag Team titles. The Usos and Mysterios have traded singles wins back and fourth and now they will have the official rematch.
Fanboy Fantasy: The Usos retain their titles when Naomi shows up and attacks Dominik with a kendo stick while the referee isn't looking. Usos get the pin and they pose with Naomi as (finally) the newest member of Bloodline/the Family/the Samoan Dynasty. Don Roman is pleased, obviously.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Los Mysterios - I'm wondering if Jimmy Uso's DUI will affect their title reign sooner rather than later. I'm calling sooner.
Andy: Los Mysterios
Ryan: Usos
Tim: Usos
WWE Raw Tag Team Titles Match : Matt Riddle & Randy Orton vs AJ Styles & Omos ©
The Background: AJ Styles and Omos defeated the New Day (Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods) at WWE WrestleMania 37 to win the WWE Raw Tag Team titles and have held them ever since. Elsewhere, Matt Riddle defeated Randy Orton in an upset on the April 19th Raw, and then somehow tricked him into a tag team match when they defeated former Hurt Business associated Cedric Alexander and Shelton Benjamin on the April 26th Raw. Riddle has been far more into this team that Orton has been, even using an RKO of his own to defeat Xavier Woods on the May 24th Raw. However, Orton disappeared for a while but then returned out of nowhere on the August 9th Raw to defeat AJ Styles and also RKO his friend(?) Matt Riddle. Orton then defeated Omos (by DQ) on the August 16th Raw and Riddle, possibly forgetting Orton's turn the previous week, challenged the champions to a titles match at SummerSlam. But can they co-exist.
Fanboy Fantasy: After a few minutes, Orton is able to RKO Styles out of the ring but when he goes for an RKO on Omos, the size difference is too much. Riddle hops in and they are able to double-RKO Omos and double pin him for the titles. As they celebrate, Orton RKO's Riddle again and then tosses his belt to his laying body and leaves the ring alone. The camera pans back over to Riddle - and he's smiling.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Matt Riddle & Randy Orton - They can co-exist. Stallions.
Andy: AJ Styles & Omos
Ryan: Matt Riddle & Randy Orton
Tim: Matt Riddle & Randy Orton
WWE United States Title Match : Damian Priest vs Sheamus ©
The Background: Sheamus defeated Matt Riddle to win the WWE United States title at WWE WrestleMania 37 while Damian Priest teamed with Bad Bunny to defeat the Miz and John Morrison. Since then, Priest has struggled to escape his feud with both Miz and Morrison (even zombies couldn't stop their feud!) while Sheamus has struggled to actually defend his title, defeating Humberto Carrillo in a match on the July 12th Raw, a full three months after winning the belt. That's it. Priest then defeated Sheamus in a non-title match, becoming the title's #1 contender, on the July 26th Raw. He then briefly got sucked back into Miz and Morrison's orbit when he defeated Johnny Drip Drip on the August 2nd Raw and then teamed with Ricochet to defeat both Johnny and Sheamus in a tag team match on the same episode. Priest again defeated Morrison on the August 9th Raw and then a fully healed and non-zombie Miz on the August 16th Raw, both while Sheamus hung out and did nothing.
Fanboy Fantasy: Sheamus fakes a bunch of warm-ups on the outside and makes it take forever for the match to actually start. Once Priest is visibly annoyed, Sheamus finally allows the match to begin. They get a couple minutes but Priest is able to hit Hit the Lights for the pin and the title.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Damian Priest - Sheamus has done nothing with the title, give it to Priest.
Andy: Damian Priest
Ryan: Sheamus
Tim: Damian Priest
WWE Raw Women's Title Match : Charlotte Flair vs Rhea Ripley vs Nikki ASH ©
The Background: Rhea Ripley joined the Raw roster and defeated Asuka at WWE WrestleMania 37 to win the WWE Raw Women's title. Charlotte Flair, of course, returned the next night and attacked both women on the April 12th Raw. Ripley was able to defeat both Asuka and Flair at WWE WrestleMania Backlash 2021, and while Asuka left the title scene, Flair persisted. In them background though, Nikki Cross has become Nikki ASH, the second coming of the Hurricane, and quietly started raking up wins. Nikki qualified for the women's ladder match at WWE Money in the Bank and won the damn thing while Flair defeated Ripley to win the WWE Raw Women's title. Nikki cashed her briefcase in the next night on the July 19th Raw and defeated Flair, becoming the new WWE Raw Women's champion - the second time Flair has been successfully cashed-in on. Now Nikki will defend her title against both former champions.
Fanboy Fantasy: These three go for about 15 minutes with Ripley and Flair mostly ignoring Cross unless they have to - despite her being the champion, neither can take Cross seriously as the Almost-SuperHero. Cross is able to pick her spots and use the two against each other to sneak up and pin Flair to retain her title. As she celebrates, the lights start to break down and Bliss’s music hits - the Fiend appears back in the ring (and both Ripley and Flair are gone) and we get a stare down. Bliss smiles, the lights go out again, and she’s gone, leaving Cross alone with her belt - but she’s been marked by the Fiend. It’s time to play.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Nikki ASH - Please let her retain please let her retain please let her retain.
Andy: Charlotte Flair
Ryan: Rhea Ripley
Tim: Charlotte Flair
WWE World Title Match : Goldberg vs Bobby Lashley ©
The Background: On the July 19th Raw, Goldberg returned to challenge WWE World Champion Bobby Lashley after he defeated also-just-returned Keith Lee in a non-title match. Lashley correctly believed that Goldberg, having most recently been defeated in a WWE World title match against then-champion Drew McIntyre at WWE Royal Rumble 2021, didn't deserve a title shot and ignored him. Goldberg returned (again!) on the August 2nd Raw and challenged Lashley (again!), this time spearing Lashley's manager MVP. Finally Lashley relented and accepted Goldberg's challenge on the August 9th Raw, declaring that Goldberg would be done once he was finished with him. However, Goldberg returned (again!) on the August 16th Raw and speared Lashley as the show closed out.
Fanboy Fantasy: Goldberg comes out with his full guard-filled entrance. Lashley does the same exact entrance just to get a reaction out of Goldberg who no-sells it. The bell rings and they both go for a spear at the same time, ricochet off each other and they both go down for a rest period. Lashley struggles to get up as Goldberg hops up and no-sells again. Lashley is pissed - they lock up, Goldberg gets a suplex or two in, and then Lashley flips the switch and spears Goldberg again, this time fully connecting. Lashley picks him up, locks the Hurt Lock and the ref calls for the bell once Goldberg passes out. Lashley retains and as he and MVP head up the ramp he can be overheard yelling “what was that? Next time get me Lesnar! I said before, I want Lesnar!” Once they hit the entryway, Roman Reigns’ music hits and Paul Heyman comes out first - Lashley stares him down and questions him about Lesnar’s whereabouts, but Roman strolls out next and we get a brief stare down between the champs. Lashley and MVP backdown and head to the back and Roman gets ready for his match next. Was that a preview for the Raw vs Smackdown match at Survivor Series?
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Bobby Lashley - Please let him retain please let him retain please let him retain.
Andy: Bobby Lashley
Ryan: Goldberg
Tim: Bobby Lashley
WWE Smackdown Women's Title Match : Sasha Banks vs Bianca Belair ©
The Background: Bianca Belair defeated Sasha Banks in the main event of night one of WWE WrESTleMania 37 and it was great. Banks took some time off while Belair dealt with the longest and greatest former WWE Smackdown Women's champion, Bayley. Belair defeated Bayley at WWE WrestleMania Backlash 2021 in a singles match and then again at WWE Hell in a Cell 2021 in a Hell in a Cell match. They were supposed to meet again at WWE Money in the Bank but Bayley was pulled due to injury (she injured herself while training to be better for you!). Since then Belair has dealt with both Carmella and Zelina Vega only for her WrESTleMania opponent to return and make the save on the July 30th Smackdown. Unfortunately after a tag team victory, Banks turned on Belair, posing with the title. At a problematic contract signing, Banks, Carmella, and Vega all attacked Belair on the August 13th Smackdown as Banks choked Belair out with her hair.
Fanboy Fantasy: Instead of each soaking in the importance of the moment like their previous match, the two cold-eyed stare each other down. The bell rings and they rush at each other with punches flying. After several big moves, the two need to slow it down and we get some time to breathe. Sasha locks the Banks Statement but isn’t able to use Belair’s hair this time, so next literally tries to pull it out (without accidentally doing it of course). Once Belair retains the advantage, she whips Banks with it and then wraps it around Banks’ neck. The ref counts to five and Belairs holds it in just to that point, but remember - the hair is part of her so it’s not a DQ offense. This has been established. Belair is able to hit the KOD on Banks to retain.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Sasha Banks - I want Bianca to win... but I think Sasha is going to steal this one.
Andy: Bianca Belair
Ryan: Sasha Banks
Tim: Bianca Belair
WWE Universal Title Match : John Cena vs Roman Reigns ©
The Background: Roman Reigns returned to Smackdown a year ago at WWE SummerSlam 2020, spearing former employee Bray Wyatt after he had just won the WWE Universal title from former employee Braun Strowman. He then defeated both Wyatt and Strowman literally a week later at WWE Payback 2020, and he has ruled Smackdown ever since as the Tribal Chief. Though they resisted at first, he has brought his cousins Jimmy and Jey Uso into the fold, and is advised by Paul Heyman. He rolled through then-WWE World Champion Drew McIntyre at WWE Survivor Series, Kevin Owens at WWE TLC 2020 and WWE Royal Rumble 2021, Daniel Bryan at WWE Elimination Chamber 2021 and WWE Fastlane 2021, both Daniel Bryan and men's Royal Rumble winner Edge in the night-two main event of WWE WrestleMania 37, Cesaro at WWE WrestleMania Backlash 2021, Rey Mysterio at (the Smackdown before) WWE Hell in a Cell 2021, and Edge once more at WWE Money in the Bank. What I'm saying is that Reigns has spent the last year winning. So who can possibly beat him at this point? Enter: John Cena. Returning on the July 23rd Smackdown, Cena made his intentions know immediately: he wants to face the Head of the Table. Reigns declined the challenge, but accepted a challenge from also-returned Finn Bálor. In a far more problematic contract signing on the July 30th Smackdown, Baron Corbin knocked out Bálor and stole the contract only to then be knocked out by Cena making the save - but then who also stole the contract and signed? The challenger field must be blank because that's not how contracts work. Roman, to his credit, appeared entertained by three grown men fighting to face little ol' him. Reigns and the Usos attacked Bálor after his revenge-match with Corbin on the August 6th Smackdown, so hopefully that thread will keep going. Either way, at SummerSlam we'll get Finn Bálor Baron Corbin John Cena vs Roman Reigns with a possible Money in the Bank cash-in from Big E Baron Corbin? Corbin likes to steal stuff and I'm kind of okay with that.
Fanboy Fantasy: Roman Reigns waits in the ring while Paul Heyman is a little shaken up from their brief altercation with Lashley. Cena’s music hits, the place goes nuts, and out comes Cena to… cheers? Yes, we’re still actually cheering him! The bell rings and Roman waits for Cena to come to him. Cena poses to the crowd while Roman continues to wait. Finally Cena shuffles over and they go. They each hit their signatures while also using psychology that the internet won’t give them credit for. Cena works the neck and back while Roman works the chest and head, each setting up for the Attitude Adjustment, Superman Punch, and Spear. The Usos try to interfere, but Cena is able to knock them back out of the ring. Cena is able to hit the AA but knocks over the referee with Roman’s body in doing so and there’s no one to count the what-would-be-successful pin. Roman recovers before the referee and hits Cena in the nuts. Cena goes down and the referee gets up and checks on John and his Peacemaker - Roman tells the referee that he didn’t see anything. As John starts to get up, Roman hits a Superman Punch and gets a two count. Cena starts to Hulk-up and we get the Five Moves of Doom, all delicately given as Cena sells the damage to his Suicide Squad. Cena finishes it with another Attitude Adjustment but Roman is able to kick out. Spear, Superman Punch, Spear, and Roman puts Cena down for the pin to retain. The Summer of Roman is pleased.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Roman Reigns - Duh.
Andy: John Cena
Ryan: Roman Reigns
Tim: Roman Reigns
That's it for our NXT Takeover 36 and WWE SummerSlam 2021 previews and fantasy bookings. We'll be back in two weeks with an AEW All Out 2021 preview and then later in September with WWE Extreme Rules 2021 which may or may not exist within the Horror Show setting. Can we get Alexa "The Fiend" Bliss in the main event please? Seriously, the main event should be a House of Horrors match with Bliss and Nikki Cross for the WWE Raw Women's title. Do it. Do it now. Exorcism match!
In the meantime, if you haven't already, please checkout parts 1, 2, and 3 of our version of WWE : Quixo-WWE WrestleMania 37, Quixo-Great American Bash 2021, and Quixo-SummerSlam 2021! What's better than some fantasy booking? All fantasy booking.
Thanks for joining us again and be sure to subscribe on Facebook and follow https://www.quixotronic.com/ for more questionable content.