Welcome back! We're fully on the Road to WrestleMania (tm) which means it's time for the Elimination Chamber, now brought to you by Saudi Arabia! Hooray? Whatever. There's three women's matches, so that's definitely something for whatever WWE thinks it's trying to do over there. But hey, it's our 2-year anniversary, so that means far more than the socio-political climate of entire region of the planet. Hooray us!
But of course the fact that WWE is back in Saudi Arabia isn't even news this week. This week have been dominated by two stories, and the story getting less play if you can believe it is that WWE is trying to get Steve Austin to return the ring for a WrestleMania 38 match with Kevin Owens. Stone Cold! He's the lesser news! Will it actually happen? Who the hell knows. If anything, I'd almost prefer it to be a drinking-challenge or something non-wrestling based. Just a segment that would hopefully end with Owens stunning Austin. Hell, that's less likely than Austin having a 20-minute barn burner with Owens, but we can dream, can't we?
But no, even Stone Cold Steve Austin's return after 19 years is overshadowed by one other story: Cody Rhodes, former EVP and co-founder of All Elite Wrestling (along with Brandi Rhodes) has left AEW. Or maybe it's a work? But maybe it's real and he's heading to WWE? But it's probably a work, right? But maybe it isn't.
Look, the Wrestling-Twitter likes to shit on Rhodes quite a bit (and it's not like he doesn't give them plenty of reasons to), but he definitely did what he said he would do in the years since first leaving WWE in 2016. He brought eyes to independent wrestling, he brought eyes to Ring of Honor, he brought eyes to New Japan Pro Wrestling and helped solidify Bullet Club to the mainstream viewer, he won the goddamn Ten Pounds of Gold, the NWA Worlds Heavyweight title at a PPV show that he and the Young Bucks put on themselves due to a "bet" with Dave Meltzer, and he (and the Bucks and Tony Khan's money) followed it up by starting a whole fucking company that is the the first true competition that WWE has had in 20+ years. And he got that shit back on TNT/TBS as God intended. I think that's a solid fucking resume. Plus he has a Funko Pop.
Would I like to see him in WWE? Actually, yes. If you've read anything I've written, you know I want him to stop in to the NWA first and have one-more NWA Worlds Heavyweight title match especially now that his friend Matt Cardona is the holder of the Ten Pounds of Gold. Would I like to see Rhodes/Aldis III? Yes, but do I want Rhodes/Cardona I more? You know it, bro.
But Rhodes should go back to WWE. WWE has spent the last two years future-endeavoring more than 80 workers (along with backstage crew). It's been a long time since they hired any one that got people excited. The last one I can think of, and I could be wrong and also vastly over-estimating his value, but Eli Drake/LA Knight came in at NXT Takeover: Vengeance Day last year in February 2021. That was officially a year ago! And before that, it may have been Killer/Karrion Kross and he debuted in February 2020!
AEW has people debuting every other week, and I'm only being slightly hyperbolic! Granted that's easy to do when the other company is releasing people left and right, but this shit needs to stabilize. With AEW's contracts clearly starting to run up, WWE needs to take the opportunity to bring in some new blood and not just for NXT. We need to be excited about people debuting on both channels, not just waiting for people to filter in one direction. Other guys who I think could work better in WWE than their current places are AEW's Brian Cage (insert Vince McMahon erection gif) or Lance Archer, or Impact's Moose or Zicky Dice. Can you imagine a Zicky Dice/RIck Boogs tag team? You're welcome.
Plus WWE just needs to get better. Could they ruin Cody Rhodes? Of course, but that's because they've destroyed a lot of trust over the years. But things can always be fixed - just ask WCW.
Let's check in with the results from the latest round of the all-new all-different Quixotronic Wrestling Shame Challenge!
Previously on Fanboy Wrestletronic…
Standings going into Impact No Surrender 2022 & WWE Elimination Chamber 2022 :
1st Place: Tim 67.1% (57-28)
2nd Place: Kyle 66.2% (92-47)
3rd Place: Ryan 49.2% (32-33)
4th Place: Andy 49.2% (31-32)
WWE Royal Rumble results :
WWE Universal Title Match : Seth Rollins def. Roman Reigns © by DQ.
Andy: Seth Rollins (1-0)
Kyle: Roman Reigns (0-1)
Ryan: Roman Reigns (0-1)
Tim: Roman Reigns (0-1)
Women's Royal Rumble Match : Ronda Rousey won last eliminating Charlotte Flair. Bianca Belair was the Iron Woman (47 min, 30 sec), Charlotte Flair had the most eliminations (5 - Aliyah, Bianca Belair, Lita, Rhea Ripley, & Shayna Baszler), the final four included Bianca Belair, Charlotte Flair, Ronda Rousey, & Shayna Baszler.
Kyle: Iron Woman - Charlotte Flair (0-2)
Most Eliminations - Io Shirai (0-3)
Final Four - Asuka, Bianca Belair, Charlotte Flair, Ronda Rousey (3-4)
Winner - Ronda Rousey (4-4)
Tim: Iron Woman - Charlotte Flair (0-2)
Most Eliminations - Bianca Belair (0-3)
Final Four - Bayley, Bianca Belair, Charlotte Flair, Rhea Ripley (2-5)
Winner - Bianca Belair (2-6)
Raw Women's Title Match : Becky Lynch © def. Doudrop by pinfall.
Andy: Doudrop (1-1)
Kyle: Becky Lynch (5-4)
Ryan: Becky Lynch (1-1)
Tim: Becky Lynch (3-6)
WWE World Title Match : Bobby Lashley def. Brock Lesnar © by pinfall to win the WWE World title.
Andy: Brock Lesnar (1-2)
Kyle: Brock Lesnar (5-5)
Ryan: Brock Lesnar (1-2)
Tim: Brock Lesnar (3-7)
Edge & Beth Phoenix def. The Miz & Maryse by pinfall.
Andy: Edge & Beth Phoenix (2-2)
Kyle: The Miz & Maryse (5-6)
Ryan: Edge & Beth Phoenix (2-2)
Tim: Edge & Beth Phoenix (4-7)
Men's Royal Rumble Match : Brock Lesnar won last eliminating Drew McIntyre. AJ Styles was the Iron Man (29 min, 06 sec), AJ Styles also had the most eliminations (6 - Austin Theory, Omos, Ridge Holland, Robert Roode, Sami Zayn, & Shinsuke Nakamura), the final four included Brock Lesnar, Drew McIntyre, Matt Riddle, and Shane McMahon for some reason.
Kyle: Iron Man- Kevin Owens (5-7)
Most Eliminations - Omos (5-8)
Final Four - AJ Styles, Big E, Kevin Owens, Matt Riddle (6-11)
Winner - AJ Styles (6-12)
Tim: Iron Man - AJ Styles (5-7)
Most Eliminations - Big E (5-8)
Final Four - Big E, Damian Priest, Elias, Rey Mysterio (5-12)
Winner - Big E (5-13)
And now the conclusion…
New standings after WWE Royal Rumble 2022 :
1stPlace: Kyle 62.4% (98-59)
2ndPlace: Tim 60.2% (62-41)
3rd Place: Ryan 49.3% (34-35)
4th Place: Andy 49.3% (33-34)
Who will survive!?
If you want to watch WWE Elimination Chamber 2022 live on Saturday morning (February 19, 2022), you’ll want to subscribe to Peacock. If you want to watch Impact No Surrender 2022 live on Saturday night (February 19, 2022), you'll want to subscribe to Impact Plus or purchase it directly on Fite. Until then, here’s your Quixotronic preview of the shows. As always: cards are subject to change.
Impact No Surrender 2022
Black Taurus vs Jonah Rock
The Background: Jonah Rock lost to former Impact World Champion Josh Alexander at Impact Hard to Kill 2022, so has decided to roll through everyone since because he's angry. He defeated Decay's Crazzy Steve on the February 3rd Impact on AXS and tried to beat him more after the bell. Fellow Decay member Black Taurus did not take kindly to this act. Now there will be a hoss fight. HOSS FIGHT.
Fanboy Fantasy: Hoss fight hoss fight hoss fight. After some time of big men slapping meat, Jonah pins Black Taurus and tries to remove his mask, but is unable to after all of the referees and security guards finally rip him off Taurus and separate them. Rock continues to dominate for the foreseeable future.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Jonah Rock - I think Rock needs a big show win, even if it's an Impact+ show.
Eric Young vs Jay White
The Background: Jay White was on excursion previously in Impact over the summer when he inducted Chris Bey into the Bullet Club. This resulted in two losses for the team, once against the Good Brothers on the July 29th (2021) Impact on AXS and once more against FinJuice on the August 12th (2021) Impact on AXS. Now Jay White is back along with the Bullet Club's Guerrillas of Destiny, much closer to full power. Bullet Club (White, Bey, Tonga, & Loa) defeated thrown-together team of Jake Something, Mike Bailey, Ace Austin, & Madman Fulton on the February 3rd Impact on AXS. On the other end, former Bullet Club members the Good Brothers have aligned with Eric Young's Violent by Design group against Bullet Club, so we'll see Young take on White in singles action.
Fanboy Fantasy: Due to all the gang warfare that has irrupted with both Ring of Honor and NJPW's Bullet Club invading Impact, all stable members are barred from ringside. Eric Young sees some solid offense, but he falls to the Switchblade, no interference needed.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Jay White - If there actually is a storyline in place for Jay White to reunite the Bullet Club on both Impact and AEW... then he needs then win. Also, how has Jay White's Impact career have two losses and no wins? Fix it!
Impact Digital Media Title Match : Jordynne Grace vs Matt Cardona ©
The Background: Jordynne Grace won Impact's new intergender Digital Media title in a six-way match at Impact Bound for Glory XVII. She has since retained against Chelsea Green at Impact Turning Point 2021. She then faced Green's husband, Matt Cardona on the February 3rd Impact on AXS and Cardona finally revealed what he's shown every other promotion he's moonlit in - he's a dick. Using a chair, Cardona turned heel and beat Grace down while the referee was distracted to win the Impact Digital Media title. Now Grace will get her rematch.
Fanboy Fantasy: Cardona comes down holding his Impact Digital Media title, his WWE Internet title, and his newly won NWA Worlds Heavyweight title, flanked by Chelsea Green. Grace in kind shows up flanked by her husband, ROH World Champion Jonathan Gresham. Gresham makes sure that Green can't interfere in the match, though Cardona actively tries to cheat when the referee gets distracted. Due to shenanigans, Cardona is able to use the Digital Media title and hit Grace in the face to score the pin. Gresham, clearly fuming but full of Honor, hands the belt to Cardona while both men eye each others' titles. Cardona shows up at Terminus 2 and attacks Jonathan Gresham after a successful defense against AEW's Santana. Cardona announces that he's going to make Honor and Pure matches cool again. However, it isn't Gresham that attacks in kind at NWA Crockett Cup - it's free-agent Cody Rhodes in a pitstop before bigger things.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Matt Cardona - I think Grace will get the title back, just not yet.
Team Honor No More (Kenny King, Matt Taven, Mike Bennett, PCO, & Vincent) vs Team Impact (Chris Sabin, Eddie Edwards, Rhino, Rich Swann, & Steve Maclin)
The Background: While Ring of Honor's doors have temporarily closed, ROH World Champion Jonathan Gresham has made an effort to defend his title wherever he can, including against Chris Sabin at Impact Hard to Kill 2022. Later in the night, more ROH members debuted, but instead attacked Impact workers. Dubbing themselves "Honor No More" to separate themselves from their champion, they have started in invasion of Impact (though not an Invasion, and Bullet Club/NJPW has been invading for a while). Now they'll have to face off against (mostly) the same Impact members they attacked last month.
Fanboy Fantasy: This will be a very bad night for Impact - Jay White already defeated TNA original Eric Young, and now the Ring of Honor guys defeat Team Impact by fighting Without Honor. They'll fight off all invaders by their next PPV, Rebellion in April, but they need stones thrown at them for the next two months before that. Sorry guys. After that Ring of Honor can start a story where Jonathan Gresham needs to reteach them all the ways of Honor.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Team Impact - I assume Impact will get a little revenge against the invading forces.
Impact Tag Team Titles Match : Guerrillas of Destiny (Tama Tonga & Tanga Loa) vs the Good Brothers (Doc Gallows & Karl Anderson) ©
The Background: When Jay White came back to Impact, he brought the Guerrillas of Destiny with him. They scored a victory (with Chris Bey) over Ace Austin, Madman Fulton, Jake Something, and Mike Bailey on the February 3rd Impact on AXS, but former Bullet Club members Karl Anderson & Doc Gallows (along with Violent by Design) attacked them afterwards. As punishment, the Good Brothers will have to defend their titles against Tama Tonga & Tanga Loa, and the GOD announced on the February 10th Impact on AXS that after they win, they'll fire the Good Brothers from the only place that will still have them.
Fanboy Fantasy: Previously on "Fanboy Wrestletronic" : This will be a very bad night for Impact. Again all stable members are barred from ringside, and again Bullet Club gets to job done by pinning the Good Brothers, winning the Impact Tag Team titles. And because this is a tag team match and it's actually coming up for real, you know what's next : both teams enter the NWA Crockett Cup where they meet ROH Tag Team champions the Briscoes, MLW Tag Team champions 5150, currently-on-a-farewell-tour the Rock n Roll Express, and most importantly don't fuck this up Billy: eventual Crockett Cup winners FTR.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Guerrillas of Destiny - they've teased various members of Bullet Club defeating the Good Brothers since last summer and I think they'll finally pull the trigger.
Impact Knockouts Title Match : Tasha Steelz vs Mickie James ©
The Background: Tasha Steelz won the first-ever Knockouts Ultimate X match at Impact Hard to Kill 2022 to become the #1 contender to Mickie James' Impact Knockouts title. At the same show, James retained her title in a Texas Deathmatch against Deonna Purrazzo, and then went through the Forbidden Door (tm) to enter the WWE Royal Rumble 2022 where she lasted nearly 12 minutes and eliminated Michelle McCool before being eliminated by Lita. Tasha Steelz mocked James on the February 3rd Impact on AXS for not winning the Rumble, so now its personal.
Fanboy Fantasy: Tasha Steelz gets a bunch of near falls and is shown to be near-equal with Mickie James, but James pulls through and score the pin for a successful defense.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Mickie James - honestly I'm not sure who I see beating Mickie at this point, and like Roman Reigns - I'm okay with that. I still want her to beat Kamille for the NWA Worlds Women's title though (or Purrazzo to piss James off and to add to her collection?).
Impact World Title Match : W. Morrissey vs Moose ©
The Background: Moose pinned Matt Cardona in a triple threat match (also featuring W. Morrissey) to retain his Impact World title last month at Impact Hard to Kill 2022. As Morrissey was technically not beat, that gave him reason to want a one-on-one match for the title. Moose defeated Zicky Dice in a singles match on the January 13th Impact on AXS, so Morriseey defeated Zicky and VSK in a handicap match on the January 20th Impact on AXS, and then Zicky, VSK, D-Ray 3000, David Young, Elix Skipper, Mikey Batts, Lex Lovett, Jerrelle Clark & Shark Boy in a 9-on-1 handicap match on the January 27th Impact on AXS that I realize I really need to check on YouTube for some Elix Skipper/Shark Boy love. Morrissey lastly beat the Learning Tree leader Brian Myers on the February 10th Impact on AXS before being attacked by Moose.
Fanboy Fantasy: Much like the first match hoss fight, these two kaiju warriors smash into each other like the giant toys they are. Brian Myers tries to interfere and attack both men, but never gets an actual hit across so there's no disqualification from it. Moose spears Myers through Morrissey and pins both for dominance. The lights go out for a moment and when they return, all US-members of Bullet Club (Jay White, Guerrillas of Destiny, Chris Bey, El Phantasmo, & Hikuleo) are in the ring and beat down Moose, Morrissey, and Myers while Jay White grabs the Impact World title. Team Impact rushes down and fills the ring to make the save only for Team Honor No More to be right behind them to make it absolute chaos. Myers's Learning Tree also joins but Myers is clearly seen escaping with the help of Matt Cardona. It's gang warfare in Impact, by gawd. To make matters worse, Bullet Club shows up on AEW Dynamite the following week thanks to Adam Cole. Bullet Club 4 life, whether the Elite like it or not.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Moose - I don't think Moose will lose the belt to anyone but Josh Alexander, assuming he can get his Visa and Impact employment issues settled. If he goes elsewhere, then Moose is your forever-champion.
WWE Elimination Chamber 2022
The Miz vs Rey Mysterio
The Background: The Miz defeated Dominik Mysterio in a singles match on the January 31 Raw. Dominik got revenge via 50/50 booking by defeating the Miz a week later on the February 7 Raw. Miz attacked Rey with a Skull-Crushing finale on the February 14th Raw after Los Mysterios lost a Raw Tag Team titles match to Chad Gable & Otis Dozovic of Alpha Academy.
Fanboy Fantasy: Mysterio flips and flops as he does and Miz does his best to slow him down and control the rhythm of the match. Dominik watches helplessly as the tide turns and Miz is more and more on the offense. Rey gets a second win and hits a 619, but Maryse distracts the referee while the crowd counts to three. Miz of course kicks out when the ref finally counts. Miz is able to hit a Skull-Crushing Finale to get the pin. On the Raws heading to WrestleMania, Miz tries to sit down with Dominik about how he is a much better father than either Rey or Eddie are, and he decides to give him a gift because he feels sorry for him - a Miz-branded mask. Dominik rejects it, but enough distrust is now there that we get Dominik vs Rey at WrestleMania 38 with the Best Dad Miz as the special guest referee. Dominik wins, pulls off Rey’s mask and slowly puts it on.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Miz - After losing twice to Edge & Beth Phoenix, Mix needs a strong win.
Andy: Miz
Ryan: Rey Mysterio
Tim: Miz
Drew McIntyre vs Madcap Moss
The Background: Drew McIntyre defeated Madcap Moss previously at WWE Day One 2022. However, Moss and Happy Corbin attacked McIntyre later in the night to injure his neck. McIntyre made his surprise return a few weeks later at WWE Royal Rumble 2022 where he eliminated both Moss and Corbin only to be eliminated himself by the Rumble winner Brock Lesnar. But McIntyre is still mad about the neck injury, so we're getting Drew McIntyre vs Madcap II.
Fanboy Fantasy: McIntyre drops Moss with a Claymore to open the match, pins him 1-2-3, and we're done after like 10 seconds. Happy Corbin had bet on McIntyre winning, so he wins big (again) and Madcap is okay with it because he gets 10% of the winnings. They keep going until we get to WrestleMania 38 where we see Drew McIntyre vs Happy Corbin where the winner becomes the #1 contender to the WWE Universal title. McIntyre also wins that.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Madcap Moss - I think there will be heavy shenanigans to give McIntyre the loss before a strong win over Happy Corbin at WrestleMania 38.
Andy: Madcap Moss
Ryan: Drew McIntyre
Tim: Drew McIntyre
Charlotte Flair & Sonya Deville vs Naomi & Ronda Rousey
The Background: Naomi has been on Sonya Deville's shit list since she got moved over to Smackdown for no apparent reason. Deville screwed Naomi out of multiple matches until they finally met one-on-one on the January 28 Smackdown and Naomi scored the win. The two met in the WWE Royal Rumble 2022 where they eliminated each other before Ronda Rousey won the whole thing and picked Charlotte Flair as her opponent (ignoring that getting revenge on Becky Lynch makes more sense). Deville attacked Naomi after she lost a Smackdown Women's title match on February 11th Smackdown and Rousey made the save. Now it's gonna be a tag team match, playa.
Fanboy Fantasy: Flair and Deville dominate against Naomi Rock n' Roll Express style until Naomi gets the hot tag to Robert Gib-- I mean Ronda Rousey who runs right at Flair who does not back down. No chicken shit heel running away, that's not how Charlotte Flair works. The two brawl and won't tag their partners in. Eventually Naomi sneaks a tag, drags Flair over to force-tag Deville, and then hits the Feel-The-Glow to lock in the win. At WrestleMania 38 we get two singles rematches: Naomi vs Sonya Deville (if Deville loses, she gives up her commissioner position, which she does) and Ronda Rousey vs Charlotte Flair for the Smackdown title (Rousey regains the title).
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Naomi & Ronda Rousey - I assume we'll see Rousey pin Flair to show that hey-maybe-she'll-win-at-WrestleMania.
Andy: Charlotte Flair & Sonya Deville
Ryan: Charlotte Flair & Sonya Deville
Tim: Charlotte Flair & Sonya Deville
Smackdown Tag Team Titles Match : Viking Raiders (Erik & Ivar) vs the Usos (Jey & Jimmy Uso) ©
The Background: The Usos won the Smackdown Tag Team titles way back in June 2021 at WWE Money in the Bank 2021 by defeating the father/son team of Rey & Dominik Mysterio. The Viking Raiders defeated Los Latharios, Cesaro & Mansoor, and Jinder Mahal & Shanky on the January 14 Smackdown to become the #1 contenders to the Smackdown Tag Team titles. Now after waiting a month for some reason, we will see that match they earned.
Fanboy Fantasy: The Viking Raiders shock everyone and defeat the Usos. It's an even match but the Usos fail to secure the win. Going into WrestleMania, the Usos try to play the rematch clause, but WWE technically doesn't have one anymore, so they get gunked up with the New Day again and both teams earn shots at the Viking Raiders. On the go-home Smackdown, Shinsuke Nakamura & Rick Boogz also earn a spot in the now fatal-four way match that sees the Viking Raiders retain.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: The Usos - No reason to take the straps off them just yet as long as they and Roman are all doing the good work.
Andy: The Usos
Ryan: Viking Raiders
Tim: The Usos
Elimination Chamber Match : Alexa Bliss vs Bianca Belair vs Doudrop vs Liv Morgan vs Nikki ASH vs Rhea Ripley
The Background: Ronda Rousey won the WWE Royal Rumble 2022 match but decided to choose Smackdown's Charlotte Flair as her WrestleMania 38 opponent. This leaves Raw Women's Champion Becky Lynch without an opponent, so now one will be determined via Elimination Chamber. Belair was the previous title holder until Lynch defeated her far-too-quickly at WWE SummerSlam 2021 to the joy of no one. Lynch defeated Morgan at WWE Day One 2022 and Doudrop at WWE Royal Rumble 2022. Rhea Ripley lost her belt to Charlotte Flair at WWE Money in the Bank 2021 before Nikki ASH cashed-in her Money in the Bank briefcase to win it from Flair (and later defeated again by Flair). Even Alexa Bliss who has been away for therapy/exorcism off-screen that really should have been on-screen was last in the title mix in losing effort to Flair back at WWE Extreme Rules 2021. What I'm saying is all 6 women are legitimately in the title picture. It's actually impressive?
Fanboy Fantasy: Liv Morgan and Nikki ASH start off and work some chain wrestling. Morgan tries for multiple pins but ASH keeps kicking out after one or two. At one point ASH shoots Morgan into Rhea Ripley’s pod and bashes her head into it several times when the lights go out and Ripley’s pod lights up. Ripley smacks ASH with the slide door and her and Morgan double-team ASH. Ripley and Morgan both go for pins but ASH still kicks out. Lights out, Alexa Bliss’s pod lights up and Bliss enters. All three pause to see where her allegiance lay - Bliss knocks down Morgan first, then Ripley next. ASH erupts in claps and hugs her best friend, but Bliss uses it to suplex ASH into her pod. Now ASH is fighting everyone off but going full Nikki Cross and somehow surviving and enjoying the pain. Light go out and Doudrop’s pod lights up. Doudrop rushes out and drops everyone. Drop to ASH, drop to Ripley, drop to Bliss, drop to Morgan - Doudrop holds on and pins Morgan 1, 2, 3 to eliminate her. As Morgan is leaving, Bianca Belair’s pod lights up and the last competitor enters. Doudrop goes for a drop on Belair, but Belair wiggles out and instead Belair lifts Doudrop up and hits her with a KOD! However Nikki ASH sneaks in and takes the pin to eliminate Doudrop. As she celebrates, Ripley and Bliss double team ASH and hit a Riptide into a Twisted Bliss - both pin her to make sure she stays down for the 1, 2, 3. now down to Ripley, Bliss, and Belair - two women who went into WrestleMania 37 to win titles and one woman who for all intents and purposes murdered the Fiend at WrestleMania 37. The three trade blows but it’s Belair who is able to hit a KOD to eliminate Ripley followed a few minutes later by another KOD on Bliss to eliminate her. At WrestleMania 38, we get Belair/Lynch III where Bianca finally gets her revenge and wins the title for the second year in a row. We also get a triple threat match between Rhea Ripley, Nikki ASH, and Alexa Bliss as former friends clash for what is unofficially a #1 contendership match - Nikki ASH gets the win and becomes Belair’s first title program post-Mania.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Bianca Belair - I'm happy Bliss is back, but Belair/Lynch III is the match we need at WrestleMania 38.
Andy: Alexa Bliss
Ryan: Rhea Ripley
Tim: Bianca Belair* *Editor’s note - Tim was crying as he selected Belair over Alexa Bliss.
Raw Women's Title Match : Lita vs Becky Lynch ©
The Background: Lita returned on the January 14 Smackdown and attacked Smackdown Women's Champion Charlotte Flair. However, Lita didn't make it far in the WWE Royal Rumble 2022, only eliminating Mickie James and being eliminated by the champion Flair. Since winner Ronda Rousey chose to face Charlotte Flair, Lita decided to challenge Raw Women's Champion Becky Lynch to a title match. They signed a legally-binding match contract on the February 14th Raw and everything.
Fanboy Fantasy: Lita and Lynch start evenly matched but Lynch is able to wear the Hall of Famer down and gets a clean win over Lita. With Lynch set up with Bianca Belair at WrestleMania 38, Lita sticks around to team with Trish Stratus in a bid to win the WWE Tag Team titles which they surprisingly still haven’t done yet. To fill out a standard throw-in-all-the-teams, Carmella and Zelina Vega also have to deal with also-Hall-of-Famers the Bella Twins, the maybe-friends-again Bayley and Sasha Banks, and random ass team Doudrop & Liv Morgan. Lita & Trish win the titles at Mania before dropping them to Banks & Bayley the next month at Backlash.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Becky Lynch - no way is Big Time Becks losing her title before WrestleMania 38.
Andy: Becky Lynch
Ryan: Becky Lynch
Tim: Becky Lynch
WWE Universal Title Match : Goldberg vs Roman Reigns ©
The Background: It's time to head back to Saudi Arabia, so Goldberg entered the February 4 Smackdown to challenge Roman Reigns for his WWE Universal title. Roman Reigns said that he will Goldberg Golberg on the February 11th Smackdown. See, he used his name as a verb. Who's next? We're killing time before Roman (or technically Goldberg) has to defend the title at WrestleMania 38 against Rumble winner Brock Lesnar.
Fanboy Fantasy: Roman pulls a Goldberg/Lesnar on Goldberg - he spears him and pins him in 10 seconds. He continues a post-match beat down and busts Goldberg open. Medics have to help Goldberg to the back while Roman poses.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Roman Reigns - Roman Reigns should never lose.
Andy: Goldberg
Ryan: Roman Reigns
Tim: Roman Reigns
WWE World Title Elimination Chamber Match : AJ Styles vs Austin Theory vs Brock Lesnar vs Matt Riddle vs Seth Rollins vs Bobby Lashley ©
The Background: On the January 31 Raw, it was decided that new WWE World Champion Bobby Lashley would defend his title in the Elimination Chamber, and that former champion Brock Lesnar would also have a pod. To determine the other four, Austin Theory defeated Kevin Owens, Matt Riddle defeated Otis Dozovic, AJ Styles defeated Rey Mysterio, and Seth Rollins was simply granted entry. Among other things, Seth Rollins defeated Randy Orton on the February 14th Raw to send a message to Matt Riddle before match-time.
Fanboy Fantasy: AJ Styles and Seth Rollins start off and have a nice easy going match - they both know not to get too winded this fast. The lights go out and Austin Theory is out next, but he tries to stay in his pod (thankfully for him Styles and Rollins ignore him). Rollins hits a Falcon Arrow on Styles, only gets a two count. Lights go out and Matt Riddle is out next. Riddle creeps up to Theory’s pod and tests the door, just in case Theory didn’t come out due to a malfunction. Of course it easily slide open and Riddle invites Theory out. Theory plays dumb and tries to bond with Riddle, but Riddle hits an RKO out-of-nowhere in Theory to eliminate him. Lights go out and Brock Lesnar enters 5th, giving Lashley the champion’s advantage with entering last. Lesnar hits an F5 on Riddle, and F5 on Rollins, an F5 on Styles and pins AJ to eliminate him. Just as he’s about to pin Rollins, Roman Reigns music hits and the Head of the Table strolls down to the Chamber. Roman and Lesnar’s eyes lock while the lights go out for Lashley’s pod to open, but Roman grabs the mechanism on the pod and locks it, keeping Lashley in his pod. As Lashley tries to break out, Roman enters the Chamber thanks to Heyman slipping money to the referees on the outside. Roman is able to Superman Punch Lesnar before he can connect, followed by a spear to Rollins and a spear to Riddle. Lesnar gets up and is able to hook Roman up for an F5 but Roman slides out and spears Lesnar through a pod. He then drags Riddle over Lesnar who gets a 1, 2, 3 to eliminate Lesnar. With Riddle and Rollins still recovering, Roman releases Lashley from his pod and nods to him. Lashley however didn’t take too kindly to the unneeded help, so goes to spear Roman. Roman is able to dodge and Lashley goes head first into the cage. Roman hits a Superman Punch on Lashley and finally leaves the Chamber. Rollins, now up and seeing Lashley on the ground, hits a quick Curb Stomp to eliminate the champion, leaving Rollins and Riddle. The two fight up a pod where Riddle hits an RKO off a pod to pin Rollins to win the WWE World Title. Randy Orton comes to the ring and celebrates with him when Riddle hits Orton with an RKO followed by a BroDerek to close the show. This sets up Randy Orton vs Matt Riddle for the WWE World Title now that Riddle turned on Orton before Orton could do the same to him. It's not a heal turn, but purely out of preservation. It gets personal with Orton vowing to get closer to beating Ric Flair’s record of 16 World titles (Orton is currently at 14), but fails to do so as Riddle retains at WrestleMania 38. As for the WWE Universal Title, Lashley is allowed into the title match due to Roman’s interference in his matches at the last two PPVs, and Rollins is able to argue that he has a (DQ) win over the champ and also deserves a shot so we get a fatal four way. While Roman has Heyman and Lashley has MVP, Rollins heavily hints that he’ll have a friend in his corner as well, heavily teasing Jon Moxley. However at WrestleMania it turns out that The Rock is in Seth Rollins’ corner (because Texas), a far worse scenario for Roman. Rollins is able to outlast the other three and pins Roman Reigns after both a Rock Bottom and a Curb Stomp to regain the WWE Universal title. Seth Rollins returns to FOX to open Smackdown as the new face champion, only to be greeted by the newly-signed Cody Rhodes back to save the WWE from itself. He tried to provide competition so WWE would correct itself, but that' didn't work. Now he must save WWE from the inside. For us.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Brock Lesnar - I think they might actually unify the titles? Maybe?
Andy: AJ Styles
Ryan: Brock Lesnar
Tim: Brock Lesnar
That's it for our February preview and fantasy booking for Impact No Surrender 2022 and WWE Elimination Chamber 2022. We'll be back in a few weeks with Impact Sacrifice (March 5, 2022) and AEW Revolution (March 6, 2022). If we get a full card beforehand, we'll also double-dip in March with NWA Crockett Cup 2022 (March 19-20, 2022). We've fantasy booked in nearly every month, so I hope we can actually preview it! Send more info, Billy! And book FTR!
After that is the grand-daddy WWE WrestleMania 38 (April 2-3, 2022) surrounded by the return of ROH Supercard of Honor XV (April 1, 2022) and NXT 2.0 Stand and Deliver (currently TBA, assuming March 29, 2022?). Maybe we'll preview/book those, maybe not. And I'll lead with the final Quixo-WWE match: The Fiend vs. The Undertaker. It'll either happen then, or never.
But before that, if you haven't already, please checkout season one of the all-fantasy Quixo booking with WWE 2021 : Quixo-WrestleMania 37, Quixo-Great American Bash 2021, and Quixo-SummerSlam 2021! What's better than some fantasy booking? All fantasy booking.
Thanks for joining us again and be sure to subscribe on Facebook and follow https://www.quixotronic.com/ for more questionable content.