Hey everyone! Despite the fact that it's time for the quarterly AEW supershow, it's the rare case where wrestling Twitter seems to still be talking about a WWE situation. Weird! If you're reading this, you probably already know, but a few weeks ago (now former) WWE Women's Tag Team champions Naomi & Sasha Banks walked out while WWE Raw was live on air. This isn't the first time something like that has happened (see Steve Austin back in 2002 most famously), but what was odd was how it was… acknowledged? During the broadcast, the announcing team discussed how the two were seen walking out, and how they've disappointed the whole WWE Universe for not performing. WWE even took to Twitter during the broadcast to put out an official press release, saying how the two claimed to feel unsafe working with opponents and how they are expected to perform as their characters as their contracts require. What the fuck?
I've seen some point out that Sasha Banks (who seems to be shouldering most of the blame) and Bayley did this same trick back in 2020 - they were Tag Team champions as well as the Raw and Smackdown singles champions. But that's the whole point - character continuity (and lack thereof). Back then, Banks and Bayley were the Golden Role Models, they were heels who were very specifically hording all the gold because they were the best and no one in the Thunderdome era could touch them. Plus, gold was in the name? The Sasha Banks and Naomi now are not those characters - they were both thrown into a tag team with each other and they were making the best of it by being the best tag team champions they could be. Not the best champions, but specifically the best tag team champions. There is no character reason why one would pin the other (something that Golden Role Models era Banks and Bayley were not above) let alone be put into a situation where they could even do so in the first place. As a story, this makes no sense.
Since walking out, Naomi and Sasha Banks have been indefinitely suspended without pay and their merchandise has been pulled from the WWE store. All this is to send a message to other performers, I guess? And granted, I'm a white male (shock!), but did they have to make the example from two of their most prominent women of color performers, one of which has been a solid performer for a decade while not getting her due (and also for some reason never being plugged into the Bloodline), while the other is easily a top performer in the company (male or female) and can easily transcend into other entertainment areas after being on the fucking Mandalorian? She could easily be the next Dwayne Johnson if she wanted to be. Yes, its hyperbolic, but its not too far off.
All of this is to say: WWE creative is stupid. Granted, their stupidity makes it easier for me to go even more nuts when fantasy-booking, but they're stupid. Bad creative is bad creative. I get that the performers walked out on their contracts, but their independent contractors, not fully insured employees. So you know what? Fuck WWE. We at Quixo stand with Naomi & Sasha Banks. We'd love to see you come back (be it with WWE or any other company), but only if you get the respect you both deserve. Bet on yourselves.
Let's check in with the first results from the Amazing Spectacular Web of Quixotronic Wrestling Shame Challenge! We have a clean slate, so it's anyone's game. Let's see how the first rounds went!
Previously on Fanboy Wrestletronic…
Standings going into WWE WrestleMania Backlash 2022 :
Andy 0% (0-0)
Kyle 0% (0-0)
Ryan 0% (0-0)
Tim 0% (0-0)
AEW Battle of the Belts II (04/16/22) results :
AEW TNT Title Match : Sammy Guevara def. Scorpio Sky © by pinfall to win the AEW TNT title for the third time.
Kyle: Scorpio Sky (0-1)
ROH World Title Match : Jonathan Gresham © def. Dalton Castle by submission.
Kyle: Jonathan Gresham (1-1)
AEW Women's Title Match : Thunder Rosa © def. Nyla Rose by pinfall.
Kyle: Thunder Rosa (2-1)
NJPW Windy City Riot (04/16/22) results :
Rocky Romero & Wheeler Yuta def. The DKC & Kevin Knight by pinfall.
Kyle: n/a (0-0)
The Factory (Aaron Solo, Nick Comoroto, & QT Marshall) def. the LA Dojo (Clark Connors, Karl Fredericks, & Yuya Uemura) by pinfall.
Kyle: LA Dojo (0-1)
Alex Coughlin, Chris Dickinson, Fred Rosser, Josh Alexander, & Ren Narita def. Team Filthy (Black Tiger VIII, Danny Limelight, Jorel Nelson, JR Kratos, & Royce Isaacs) by submission.
Kyle: Team Filthy (0-2)
NJPW Strong Openweight Title Match : Tom Lawlor © def. Yuji Nagata by pinfall.
Kyle: Tom Lawlor (1-2)
United Empire (Aaron Henare, Great O-Khan, Jeff Cobb, Kyle Fletcher, Mark Davis, & TJP) def. Bullet Club (Chris Bey, Doc Gallows, Hikuleo, Karl Anderson, El Phantasmo) & the nWo's Scott Norton by pinfall.
Kyle: Bullet Club/nWo (1-3)
Brody King & FinJuice (David Finlay & Juice Robinson) def. Bad Dude Tito & The Mighty Don't Kneel (Jonah Rock & Shane Haste) by pinfall.
Kyle: Brody King & FinJuice (2-3)
Jay White def. Shota Umino by pinfall.
Kyle: Jay White (3-3)
Tomohiro Ishii def. Minoru Suzuki by pinfall.
Kyle: Brody King & FinJuice (3-4)
Jon Moxley def. Will Ospreay by pinfall.
Kyle: Jon Moxley (4-4)
Impact Rebellion 2022 (04/23/22) results :
Eddie Edwards def. Chris Bey by pinfall.
Kyle: n/a (0-0)
Impact Knockouts Tag Team Titles Match : The Influence (Madison Rayne & Tenille Dashwood) © def. The IInspiration (Cassie Lee & Jessie McKay) by pinfall.
Kyle: n/a (0-0)
Steve Maclin def. Chris Sabin, Jay White by pinfall.
Kyle: Jay White (0-1)
AAA Reina de Reinas Title Match : Taya Valkyrie def. Deonna Purrazzo © by pinfall to win the AAA Reina de Reinas title.
Kyle: Taya Valkyrie (1-1)
Impact X-Division Title Match : Ace Austin def. Mike Bailey, Trey Miguel © by pinfall to win the Impact X-Division title.
Kyle: Mike Bailey (1-2)
Tomohiro Ishii def. Jonah Rock by pinfall.
Kyle: Jonah Rock (1-3)
Impact Men's Tag Team Titles Gauntlet Match : Violent by Design © def. the Good Brothers (Doc Gallows & Karl Anderson), Heath Miller & Rhino, Johnny Swinger & Zicky Dice, Jordynne Grace & W. Morrissey, the Major Players (Brian Myers & Matt Cardona), the OGK (Matt Taven & Mike Bennett), Rich Swann & Willie Mack by elimination.
Kyle: Violent by Design (2-3)
Impact Knockouts Title Match : Tasha Steelz © def. Rosemary by pinfall.
Kyle: Tasha Steelz (3-3)
Impact World Title Match : Josh Alexander def. Moose © by pinfall to win the Impact World title.
Kyle: Josh Alexander (4-3)
NJPW Wrestling Dontaku 2022 (05/01/22) results :
Suzuki-gun (Taichi, TAKA Michinoku, & Zack Sabre Jr) def. Los Ingobernables de Japon (BUSHI & Shingo Takagi) & Shiro Koshinaka (sub for Tatsumi Fujinami) by pinfall.
Kyle: Tatsumi Fujinami & Los Ingobernables de Japon (0-1)
Hiromu Takahashi def. YOH
Kyle: n/a (0-1)
Tango Loa (w/ Jado) def. Yujiro Takahashi
Kyle: Tanga Loa (1-1)
IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Titles Match : Six or Nine (Master Wato & Ryusuke Taguchi) © def. Suzuki-gun (DOUKI & Yoshinobu Kanemaru) by pinfall.
Kyle: Six or Nine (2-1)
IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Titles Match : Bullet Club (Bad Luck Fale & Chase Owens) def. CHAOS (Hirooki Goto & YOSHI-HASHI), United Empire (Great O-Khan & Jeff Cobb) © by pinfall.
Kyle: United Empire (2-2)
NEVER Openweight Title Match : Tama Tonga (w/ Jado) def. EVIL © (w/ Dick Togo) by pinfall to win the NEVER Openweight title.
Kyle: Tama Tonga (3-2)
IWGP Junior Heavyweight Title Match : Taiji Ishimori def. El Desperado © by pinfall to win the IWGP Junior Heavyweight title.
Kyle: Taiji Ishimori (4-2)
IWGP United States Title Match : Hiroshi Tanahashi def. Tomohiro Ishii by pinfall to win the vacant IWGP United States title.
Kyle: n/a (4-2)
IWGP World Heavyweight Title Match : Kazuchika Okada © def. Tetsuya Naito by pinfall.
Kyle: Kazuchika Okada (5-2)
NXT 2.0 Spring Breakin' (05/03/22) results :
NXT North American Title Match : Cameron Grimes © def. Carmelo Hayes, Solo Sikoa by pinfall.
Kyle: Cameron Grimes (1-0)
Nathan Frazier def. Grayson Waller by pinfall.
Kyle: Grayson Waller (1-1)
Cora Jade & Nikkita Lyons def. Lash Legend & Natalya by pinfall.
Kyle: Cora Jade & Nikkita Lyons (2-1)
The Creed Brothers (Brutus & Julius Creed) def. The Viking Raiders (Erik & Ivar) by pinfall.
Kyle: The Creed Brothers (3-1)
NXT Men's Title Match : Bron Breakker © def. Joe Gacy by pinfall.
Kyle: Bron Breakker (4-1)
Impact Under Siege 2022 (05/07/22) results :
Gisele Shaw def. Madison Rayne by pinfall.
Kyle: n/a (0-0)
Chris Sabin def. Steve Maclin by pinfall.
Kyle: Steve Maclin (0-1)
AAA Reina de Reinas Title Match : Taya Valkyrie © def. Deonna Purrazzo by pinfall.
Kyle: Taya Valkyrie (1-1)
Impact X-Division Title Match : Ace Austin © def. Trey Miguel by pinfall.
Kyle: n/a (1-1)
Honor No More (Eddie Edwards, Kenny King, Matt Taven, Mike Bennett, & Vincent) def. Bullet Club (Chris Bey, Doc Gallows, Jay White, Karl Anderson, & El Phantasmo) by pinfall.
Kyle: Bullet Club (1-2)
Impact Kockouts Title Match : Tasha Steelz © def. Havok by pinfall.
Kyle: Tasha Steelz (2-2)
Impact Tag Team Titles Match : The Briscoes (Jay & Mark Briscoe) © def. Violent By Design (Deaner & Eric Young) © by pinfall to win the Impact Tag Team titles.
Kyle: Violent by Design (2-3)
Impact World Title Match : Josh Alexander © def. Tomohiro Ishii by pinfall.
Kyle: Josh Alexander (3-3)
WWE WrestleMania Backlash 2022 (05/08/22) results :
Cody Rhodes def. Seth Rollins by pinfall.
Kyle: Seth Rollins (0-1)
Tim: Seth Rollins (0-1)
Omos def. Bobby Lashley by pinfall.
Kyle: Omos (1-1)
Tim: Omos (1-1)
Edge def. AJ Styles by submission.
Kyle: AJ Styles (1-2)
Tim: Edge (2-1)
Smackdown Women's Title "I Quit" Match : Ronda Rousey def. Charlotte Flair © by submission to win the Smackdown Women's title.
Kyle: Ronda Rousey (2-2)
Tim: Ronda Rousey (3-1)
Madcap Moss def. Happy Corbin by pinfall.
Kyle: Happy Corbin (2-3)
Tim: Madcap Moss (4-1)
The Bloodline (Jey Uso, Jimmy Uso, & Roman Reigns def. Drew McIntyre, Matt Riddle, & Randy Orton by pinfall.
Kyle: Drew McIntyre & RK-Bro (2-4)
Tim: Drew McIntyre & RK-Bro (4-2)
NJPW Capital Collision 2022 (05/14/22) results :
Karl Fredericks def. Ren Narita by pinfall.
Kyle: Karl Fredericks (1-0)
Team Filthy (Danny Limelight, Jorel Nelson, JR Kratos, Royce Isaacs, & Tom Lawlor) def. David Finlay, the DKC, Fred Rosser, Tanga Loa, & Yuya Uemura by pinfall.
Kyle: Team Filthy (2-0)
Chase Owens def. Great O-Khan by pinfall.
Kyle: Great O-Khan (2-1)
The Mighty Don't Kneel (Bad Dude Tito, Jonah Rock, Mikey Nicholls, & Shane Haste) def. United Empire (Aaron Henare, Jeff Cobb, Kyle Fletcher, & Mark Davis) by pinfall.
Kyle: The Mighty Don't Kneel (3-1)
Brody King def. Minoru Suzuki by pinfall.
Kyle: Minoru Suzuki (3-2)
Tomohiro Ishii def. Eddie Kingston by pinfall.
Kyle: Eddie Kingston (3-3)
Bullet Club (Hikuleo & Jay White) def. CHAOS (Kazuchika Okada & Rocky Romero) by pinfall.
Kyle: Bullet Club (4-3)
IWGP United States Title Match : Juice Robinson def. Hiroshi Tanahashi ©, Jon Moxley, and Will Ospreay by pinfall to win the IWGP United States title.
Kyle: Hiroshi Tanahashi (4-4)
And now the conclusion…
Final standings after WWE WrestleMania Backlash 2022 and other stuff :
1st Place: Tim 66.7%
2nd Place: Kyle 56.0%
3rd Place: Andy 0.0%
3rd Place: Ryan 0.0%
Who will survive!?
To watch AEW Double or Nothing 2022 live on Sunday, May 29, 2022 at 7:00p CST, you can purchase it on Bleacher Report. Until then, here’s your Quixotronic preview of the weekend.
As always: cards are subject to change.
AEW Double or Nothing 2022
Danhausen & Hook vs Mark Sterling & Tony Nese
The Background: Danhausen tried to curse Hook but realized he was immune. Intrigued, Danhausen tried to woo Hook, but it appeared to not work. On the May 11th AEW Dynamite, Danhausen lost his first AEW match to Tony Nese, and when Nese attacked him after the match - Hook made the save. And then they shook hands. With the New Mega Powers finally together, they will now face Tony Nese and his manager Smart Mark Sterling.
Fanboy Fantasy: Danhausen and Nese start the match and it goes exactly their Dynamite match except that Danhausen gets a rope break. Nese throws Danhausen around the ring for a few minutes before Sterling asks to be tagged in. Nese makes the tags and then quickly rushes at Hook to knock him off the apron. Sterling goes to attack Danhausen, but Danhausen is able to curse him frozen. Nese notices something is wrong and tries to help move Smart Mark, but Danhausen runs to his corner and tags in a returning Hook. Hook walks up to Nese who is ready to fight him, but the referee gets in the middle and forces Nese back to his corner. Hook waves at Nese and then suplexes the still-cursed Sterling. Another frozen suplex, followed by another suplex, followed by locking the Redrum - but Sterling doesn’t react to the pain. Hook releases him and talks to Danhausen. They agree, they tag, and Danhausen releases the curse. Sterling acts as if he’s been suffocating the whole time, but Danhausen tags Hook back in who quickly locks the Redrum again, this time with Sterling overreacting and tapping right away. Nese tends to Sterling while Hook nods to Danhausen and leaves. In future episodes of Dynamite, Hook’s new alliance with Danhausen comes into question with the rest of Team Taz while Nese goes on a run on Dark and Elevation to gain more ground in the TNT division.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Hookhausen - your next AEW Tag Team champions have already been decided.
Death Triangle (PAC, Penta el Zero Miedo, & Rey Fenix) vs The House of Black (Brody King, Buddy Matthews, & Malakai Black)
The Background: At AEW Revolution 2022, the House of Black defeated 2/3 of the Death Triangle in PAC and Penta Oscuro along with Erick Redbeard. Since then, the House of Black has been picking up wins as a trio. The House of Black also tried to recruit Julia Hart of the Varsity Blondes on the May 4th AEW Dynamite, but apparently the black mist hadn't corrupted her enough. As for Death Triangle, Rey Fenix qualified for the Owen Hart Cup on the same show, though lost to Kyle O'Reilly on the May 18th AEW Dynamite. Either way, the two trios are going to fight again, but this time at full power, so that they can prove that AEW likely needs Trios titles.
Fanboy Fantasy: Since the “Anarchy in the Arena” match is presumably Texas tornado style, I assume this is a normal 6-man tag team match. PAC and Buddy Matthews start off in what would have been a banger on 205 Live a few years ago, and we get quick tags all around. Death Triangle tag in pretty evenly while Matthews and Black tag, leaving Brody King for when he’s needed. It’s an even-paced match for 10 minutes until King gets that big tag and demolishes Death Triangle. Bodies are left everywhere when King tags Black back in for the Black Mass on Fenix to score the pin and win for the House of Black. As they celebrate, Julia Hart is seen in the entryway slowly clapping, and Black can be seen smiling. On the next episode of Dynamite, we get Brody King vs Brian Pillman Jr., and Hart finally turns on the Varsity Blondes and joins the House of Black as she should have weeks (months?) ago. As the House of Black grows and the card for Forbidden Door grows, Malakai Black demands to meet the false house of New Japan: The House of “Torture.” It’s a fun name, but are they willing to back up the claim?
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: House of Black - I just feel like House of Black needs a big win? Even if they already defeated Death Triangle? And then they need to do... something?
Andy: House of Black
Tim: Death Triangle
The Hardy Boyz vs The Young Bucks
The Background: While they've mostly interacted over on Being the Elite, the Hardy Boyz have been getting into the Undisputed Elite's business as of late. Jeff Hardy defeated Bobby Fish to qualify for the Owen Hart Cup on the May 4th AEW Dynamite, though he was defeated by Adam Cole on the May 18th AEW Dynamite. On the May 27th AEW Dynamite, the Young Bucks trolled the Hardy Boyz by dressing up as the Attitude-Era Hardy Boyz and came out for their match with Gangrel - but they of course it was a ruse and they attacked the former New Brood leader after. The Hardy Boyz made the save, beat up young boy Brandon Cutler, and posed with Gangrel. Now the Hardy Boyz and Young Bucks will face each other for the first time in five years where the Young Bucks defeated the Broken Hardyz in a Ladder War match for the ROH Tag Team titles at ROH Supercard of Honor XI - the night before they re-debuted at WWE WrestleMania 33.
Fanboy Fantasy: The Hardy Boyz try to have a typical Hardy Boyz match while the Young Bucks heel it up and do everything they can to keep both men grounded. Any time one of the Bucks even jumps to the top rope, they motion that oops they forgot they weren’t doing that and jump down before hitting more grounded attacks. At one point they even set up for the Meltzer Driver but again refuse to jump off the rope and instead do a superkick into the piledriver. Of course the Hardy Boyz are able to turn the tide, hit all of their big moves, and Jeff Hardy hits the Swanton Bomb to score the pin on Nick Jackson. The Young Bucks are shocked, shocked I tell you that they loss, and they motion for the Undisputed Elite to come down and take care of the Hardy Boyz for them. Once Adam Cole, reDRagon, and young boy Brandon Cutler are in the ring surrounding the Hardy Boyz, Darby Allin’s music hits and both Allin and Sting appear to make the save. Despite that, Adam Cole’s Owen Hart Cup match is actually next, and he’s forced to re-enter the ring before the Hardy Boyz and Allin/Sting leave, nearly attacking him but not actually touching him. On future episodes of Dynamite, we get the Hardy Boyz vs reDRagon as well as the Young Bucks vs Darby Allin & Sting. At some point we get a full 10-man match between the Undisputed Elite against Hardy Boyz, Allin/Sting, and Allin/Sting ally CM Punk (we tease a Punk/Jeff Hardy confrontation, but everyone’s over it so they can just be friends now). Of course, this is all done quickly in the next few weeks because the Forbidden Door demands the Bullet Club Civil War, and the Undisputed Elite will not be on the same sides.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: The Hardy Boyz - this one is a toss-up for me, but I'm going with the good guys to "send them home happy."
Andy: The Hardy Boyz
Tim: The Hardy Boyz
Owen Hart Foundation Cup Men's Final : Adam Cole vs Samoa Joe
The Background: Announced last year, the tournament was established to honor the memory of Owen Hart in collaboration with the Owen Hart Foundation. Adam Cole defeated Dax Harwood and Jeff Hardy defeated Darby Allin on the May 11th AEW Dynamite, Kyle O'Reilly defeated Rey Fenix and Samoa Joe defeated joker Johnny Elite, and Adam Cole defeated Jeff Hardy all on the May 18th AEW Dynamite, and Samoa Joe defeated Kyle O'Reilly on the May 25th AEW Dynamite.
Fanboy Fantasy: As the Undisputed Elite are cleared from the ring, Samoa Joe comes to the ring and scares them to the back faster. The bell rings and the two have an evenly paced match that could have main evented a Takeover not even a year ago. Cole plays dirty of course - reDRagon sneaks back out to try and help before the referee sends the back, but Cole has time to hit a low blow. Cole goes for a pin, but it doesn’t work. Cole tries for a Panama Sunrise but Joe easily reverses it into a powerbomb, but Cole is able to roll out before a pin. Cole is able to hit it for real later and use the ropes for extra leverage, but Joe kicks out. Joe locks in the Coquina Clutch, but Cole is able to grab the ropes right away for a rope break. The end sees Joe distracted again but by Sonjay Dutt, allowing Cole to hit not one Last Shot, not two Last Shots, but three Last Shots. Cole finally noticed Dutt, shrugs it off, and accepts his Owen Hart Cup trophy.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Adam Cole - Joe already has the ROH Television title, and Cole could use a big win after two AEW World title loses.
Andy: Samoa Joe
Tim: Adam Cole
Owen Hart Foundation Cup Women's Final : Dr. Britt Baker, DMD vs Ruby Soho
The Background: Announced last year, the tournament was established to honor the memory of Owen Hart in collaboration with the Owen Hart Foundation. Toni Storm defeated Jamie Hayter on the May 11th AEW Dynamite, Ruby Soho defeated Riho on the May 13th AEW Rampage, Britt Baker defeated joker Maki Itoh on the May 18th AEW Dynamite, Kris Statlander (subbing in for Hikaru Shida) defeated Red Velvet on the May 20th AEW Rampage, Britt Baker defeated Toni Storm on the May 25th AEW Dynamite, and Ruby Soho defeated Kris Statlander on the May 27th AEW Rampage.
Fanboy Fantasy: With Adam Cole’s victory, Dr. Britt Baker DMD comes down to the ring even more confident than normal. Despite the result of their last meeting, Soho comes down with equal confidence. The two have another even match, and they go even longer than Cole/Joe. This match is more of a brawl than the men’s cup final. Unlike the multiple interference in the men’s match, both Toni Storm and Kris Statlander chase out Jamie Hayter and Rebel, leaving Baker without her backup. Baker continues to overpower Soho for the first couple of minutes but Soho is able to rally with the crowd and is able to win with a frog splash. Baker is stunned as the crowd goes wild and Soho is presented her Owen Hart Cup.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Ruby Soho - It's tempting, but I don't think they'll crown the power couple.
Andy: Dr. Britt Baker, DMD
Tim: Dr. Britt Baker, DMD
Anarchy in the Arena Match : Eddie Kingston, Proud & Powerful (Ortiz & Santana), & The Blackpool Combat Club (Bryan Danielson & Jon Moxley) vs The Jericho Appreciation Society (Angelo Parker, Chris Jericho, Daniel Garcia, Jake Hager, Matt Menard)
The Background: Eddie Kingston defeated Chris Jericho at AEW Revolution 2022, ending their feud. Wait, nevermind, they kept fighting. On the March 9th AEW Dynamite, Chris Jericho accepted Eddie Kingston's handshake, but then introduced his new Jericho Appreciation Society (Daniel Garcia, 2point0 team of Matt Menard & Angelo Parker, and as always Jake Hager) with a beatdown of Kingston. The JAS are sports entertainers, but all that means is they dress shiny and Jericho plays with fireballs now. Jericho, Garcia, & Hager defeated Kingston, Ortiz, & Santana on the April 13th AEW Dynamite. On the May 11th AEW Dynamite while the JAS celebrated how many times they've beat down Eddie Kingston, the Blackpool Combat Club appeared along with Kingston, Ortiz, & Santana to surround the JAS, causing sports entertainment chaos. On the May 18th AEW Dynamite when Chris Jericho and William Regal sat down and used their words, it was decided that they will have an Anarchy in the Arena match since Jon Moxley declined a sports entertainment-infused Stadium Stampede match though no details have actually been released stating the difference. The important part is we were denied Regal yelling BLOOD AND GUTS so what are we even doing here.
Fanboy Fantasy: This is, of course, a fucking brawl even if it isn’t a Blood and Guts match and I didn’t get to hear William Regal angrily yell BLOOD AND GUTS and why isn’t this a Blood and Guts match and seriously I don’t understand. How is it different than the Stadium Stampede match? I’m guessing it’ll be based in the ring, at least at first? Let’s go with that. Everyone pairs off (Kingston/Jericho, Danielson/Garcia, Moxley/Hager, and 2point0/Proud&Powerful) and just brawl through the arena. Because it’s anarchy. The brawl all over the arena, through the back, hell even outside the arena, but in the end Kingston, Moxley, and Danielson end up alone with Jericho back in the middle of the ring. Kingston hits Backfist to the Future, Moxley hits a Paradigm Shift, and Danielson locks the LeBell Lock (while Kingston & Mox actively punch Jericho in the face) forcing the Wizard to tap. Later on as the Forbidden Door card takes shape, Jericho demands a one-on-one match with Bryan Danielson with title implications to take the American Dragon’s proposed spot on the card away from him, but Danielson is able to beat Jericho again, securing his Forbidden Door match (more on that later). The Jericho Appreciation Society take Jericho’s cue to sit out the card in protest. Moxley challenges Hiroshi Tanahashi once again to a singles match since they didn’t get one at NJPW’s Capital Collision show, while Eddie Kingston and Proud & Powerful look to challenge Suzuki-gun when Kingston decides he wants to face Minoru Suzuki, but Ortiz & Santana want to get in on the fun as well, and who is Kingston to deny them that?
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Eddie Kingston & co - the JAS is new, but I don't think they need the win here. Jericho's smarminess will cover their loss.
Andy: The Jericho Appreciation Society
Tim: The Jericho Appreciation Society
MJF vs Wardlow
The Background: MJF brought in Wardlow as his own personal bodyguard in the early days of AEW, stressing that he owned Wardlow's contract, not AEW. After years of teasing it, at AEW Revolution 2022 Wardlow finally turned on MJF when he handed MJF's Dynamite Diamond ring over to CM Punk in their dog collar match, leading to MJF to lose the match. Wardlow on the other hand won a shot at the AEW TNT title, but MJF retaliated and punched Wardlow with the same ring on the March 16th AEW Dynamite. MJF revealed that we will pay Wardlow to stay home, but this soon changed to allowing Wardlow to have matches but need to be accompanied by local police and be handcuffed before and after his matches. Wardlow has since defeated all the hosses around such as the Butcher, Lance Archer, and even Impact Wrestling's W. Morrissey. Wardlow received 10 lashings from MJF on the May 18th AEW Dynamite, though laughed them all off, and then Wardlow defeated Shawn Spears in a cage match on the May 25th AEW Dynamite.
Fanboy Fantasy: MJF enters first with Shawn Spears while Wardlow is again led to the ring in handcuffs. Before the police unlock him, Spears runs over and steals the key and swallows it. MJF has the bell rung and the match starts with Wardlow still handcuffed. Wardlow rushes at MJF who runs away. Spears tries to swing a chair at Wardlow but the referee stops him and takes the chair. This gives MJF and Spears time to double team Wardlow, but he powers out and rams Spears into MJF. The next few minutes sees MJF attack and then runaway while Spears tries to attack and fails. Wardlow is able to power kick Spears into the ring post, backs up, and runs full force into Spears, both murdering him but also causing him to spit out the key. Everyone is shocked as Wardlow smiles and very calmly unlocks his handcuffs. MJF is now scared. Wardlow chase MJF, finally able to physically grab him, and throws him back in the ring. Wardlow throws MJF around like a rag doll for a while but MJF keeps kicking out. Spears comes back to life in time to motion over to the ref, giving MJF the opportunity to sneak on his Dynamite Diamond ring - a solid punch with it knocks Wardlow down. Spears immediately points when MJF rolls him up so there’s no missed time in the pin: 1-2- kick out! Wardlow kicks out and MJF looks like he will cry. The referee noticed that Wardlow is now bleeding from the head and MJF has the ring on and goes to DQ him, but Wardlow stops them. He doesn’t want it to DQ him, he wants to keep fighting. The ref alllows it, and Wardlow has to chase MJF again. When he catches him again, he drags him kicking and screaming into the middle of the ring and he powerbombs him. And then again. And then again. Wardlow powerbombs MJF ten times in a row. Wardlow pins MJF for the win. On the next Dynamite it’s announced that MJF is in the hospital with a number of injuries and had decided to formally sue Wardlow into further servitude. From now on, every match Wardlow competes in, his winnings go to MJF’s medical bills. However, and it may be the pain medication talking, but MJF will let Wardlow out of his contract once his medical bills are paid in full because he is done dealing with Wardlow. The more Wardlow wins, the more MJF gets paid. If AEW wants to hire him after his contract with MJF is finished, fine, it would be a terrible decision. But if they don’t? That’s on Wardlow. MJF takes most of the summer off and only appears in off-site videos from a vacation spa and gladly misses out on the Forbidden Door show. MJF is a regular Bob Kelso.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Wardlow - I actually expect this to be a 1 minute kill job. And that's okay.
AEW TBS Match : Anna Jay vs Jade Cargill ©
The Background: Kris Statlander defeated the Baddies member Red Velvet to advance in the Owen Hart Cup on the May 20th AEW Dynamite. This caused Velvet and Kiera Hogan to attack Statlander, so Ruby Soho came out for the save. Baddies leader Jade Cargill upped the ante, and Anna Jay evened it out and then challenged Cargill for an AEW TBS title match.
Fanboy Fantasy: Jade Cargill comes flanked by the Baddies Kiera Hogan & Red Velvet, Tony Nese, and Smart Mark Sterling (still holding his neck from their match earlier) while Anna Jay counters with all of the Dark Order. The referee forces everyone to go to the back, leaving just Jay and Cargill. They have a little five minute match, but Cargill is able to use her power and reach over Anna Jay to put the match away and continue her winning streak. 33-0 or so? Jade Cargill gets into a champions match with the AEW and ROH Women’s champions (spoilers) for Forbidden Door and continues to hold the title undefeated for at least a few more months - let’s get to 99-0. But for that 100th match, her title defense comes against fully-powered House of Black member Julia Hart. Cargill gets too cocky and Hart scores the shock pin to take the title and end the streak.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Jade Cargill - the streak will continue.
Andy: Jade Cargill
Tim: Jade Cargill
AEW Tag Team Titles Match : Keith Lee & Swerve Strickland vs Team Taz (Powerhouse Hobbs & Ricky Starks) vs Jurassic Express (Jungle Boy & Luchasaurus) ©
The Background: Jungle Boy lost an FTW title match to Ricky Starks on the May 11th AEW Dynamite after Team Taz had been messing with the Tag Team champions and demanding a title shot. Elsewhere, Keith Lee and Swerve Strickland have also been earning wins and want a title shot. Since there are two suitors, Christian Cage decided to let the champions defend their titles against both teams, possibly a sign that he is getting fed up with Jurassic Express as of late. Swerve Strickland won a three-way singles match against Jungle Boy & Ricky Starks on the May 25th AEW Dynamite, so Lee/Swerve have the ever important momentum going in.
Fanboy Fantasy: Jurassic Express and Lee/Strickland both focus on Team Taz at first, though Powerhouse Hobbs is able to power(house) through all four men while Starks is able to flip flop around him and hit the quick moves. Eventual miscommunication leads to Jurassic Express and Lee/Swerve to turn on each other and make it a true 3-way. Christian and Taz both try to put their teams over at the commentary booth, but Christian is clearly more and more frustrated with his team, Jungle Boy in particular. In the end its Keith Lee & Swerve Strickland that are able to pin Jungle Boy to take the titles and force Christian down to the ring to confront his team. After Christian helps up Jungle Boy, he slaps him right in the face, causing Luchasaurus to lift up Christian by his neck - Christian kicks Luchasaurus in the balls, and hits a Killswitch on each man/dinosaur. On future episodes of Dynamite, Christian introduces his new man, the returning Kip Sabian, and the two teams continue to feud until the inevitable Christian Cage vs Jungle Boy match that sees Jungle Boy go over, earning some respect back before everyone goes their separate ways. Team Taz continues to peruse Lee & Swerve’s AEW Tag Team titles by throwing Ricky Starks & Hook at them, then Powerhouse Hobbs & Hook at them. When Hook suggests he team with Danhausen, father and son finally clash with Hook leaving Team Taz to stay with Danhausen. In the ultimate act of rebellion, Hook gets an FTW Title match with Starks, forces him to tap to take the title, and then has Danhausen curse the title, causing it to burst into flames and disappear. Wrestling!
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Team Taz - I think Jurassic Express's title reign is going to end, and I think they'll go with the "more established" team of Team Taz for the win.
Andy: Keith Lee & Swerve Strickland
Tim: Jurassic Express
AEW Women's Title Match : Serena Deeb vs Thunder Rosa ©
The Background: Over a year ago, Serena Deeb defeated Thunder Rosa to win the NWA Worlds Women's title on the October 27th (2020) UWN Primetime Live. Thunder Rosa, who had signed with AEW by this point, got her rematch on the November 18th (2020) AEW Dynamite, but failed to regain her gold. Fast forward some, and Rosa earned an AEW title shot at Dr. Britt Baker, DMD, but failed to get the gold at AEW Revolution 2022, but was able to parlay into a rematch where she defeated Baker and won the AEW Women's title at the March 16th AEW Dynamite. After a brief feud and win over Nyla Rosa, the Professor Serena Deeb has returned after scoring wins over on Dark and Elevation. The two have had mostly a battle of words, but now they will face off again, with Deeb already having two wins against the champion.
Fanboy Fantasy: Both women walk in with all the confidence in the world. Both start working the legs early; Deeb to prepare for the Serenity Lock while Rose tries to exploit Deeb’s previous knee injuries. They go for at least 20 minutes to the point where both are limping and when either lock their submission, they can’t get the other far enough away from the ropes to stop a rope break. I’m the end Thunder Rosa hits a barrage of attacks on Deeb’s neck that she can’t run away from so when Rosa locks a Dragon Sleeper, Deeb is finally far enough away from the ropes to tap. Rosa celebrates and everyone (but Deeb) is happy. On the next Dynamite, Rosa gets responds to the shenanigans from the show’s main event (spoilers) and demands a match at the Forbidden Door. Tony Khan owns both AEW and ROH, and they’re allowed to work any AEW show (this cue brings out Mercedes Martinez as well). It’s bullshit that we haven’t anything from STARDOM when they have the best athletes on the planet. Martinez grabs the mic, motions to herself and Rosa, and points out that they have at best the third best on the planet, and this brings out Jade Cargill to put both of them in their place with her undefeated streak. But the message remains: give them singles matches, a trios match, whatever, but they all demand to meet the best of STARDOM at Forbidden Door. Thankfully AEW/NJPW give in and we get a trios match with the AEW/ROH champions against STARDOM champions Syuri, Saya Kamitani, and former ROH Women of Honor champion Mayu Iwatani.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: Thunder Rosa - Rosa will get her title win back from when Deeb beat her for the NWA Worlds Women's title.
Andy: Thunder Rosa
Tim: Thunder Rosa
AEW World Title Match : CM Punk vs Adam Page ©
The Background: Adam Page defeated Kenny Omega to win the AEW World title back at AEW Full Gear 2021. He then defeated Bryan Danielson on both the December 15th (2021) AEW Dynamite and the January 5th AEW Dynamite, Lance Archer on the February 9th AEW Dynamite, and lastly Adam Cole at both AEW Revolution 2022 and the April 15th AEW Rampage. However, his next challenger was already known: after defeating Dax Harwood on the March 23rd AEW Dynamite, the #1 ranked CM Punk gestured for the AEW World title, calling his prize. The next week he made it official: he was going for the AEW World title. After a small #quixotine due to COVID, Hangman Page returned on the May 4th AEW Dynamite to tell everyone that he is going to kick CM Punk's ass, and while CM Punk claims everything is just business, he knows Punk - and its never just business. Adam Page will be defending his title against Punk for all of AEW, because Punk is a snake. Page seems to be sliding towards the heel side of the feud, but is he wrong dear reader? Is he wrong?
Fanboy Fantasy: Kazuchika Okada joins the commentary booth to have a better view of AEW’s championship match as he has his eyes on all top contenders in the promotion. CM Punk comes out to a huge pop while Hangman Page comes out to a mix of cheers and boos. When the match starts, Punk rushes out with a flurry of offense and even tries for a few pin attempts but Hangman kicks out and 1 and is clearly made at both Punk and himself. Page is able to shake it out and the match evens out, though Punk is still getting more cheers and Hangman getting more and more boos. They go for at least 30 minutes, still at a stand still with each other. After a while NJPW and Bullet Club’s Jay White comes out to the ring while Okada is clearly mad to see him. Both men catch White and ringside and complain to the referee to have White sent to the back. As the referee begins to argue with White, a masked man all in black rushes the ring with the AEW title in hand and clocks Punk right in the head. Hangman is shocked to see him and tries to get the man out of the ring - Page rips the mask off to reveal KENTA. KENTA hits Hangman with the title and tosses it, then picks Punk up and hits him with a Go 2 Sleep. He drags Hangman onto Punk and slides out while White heads to the back allowing tree referee back in the ring to find the two men in a pin - it’s counted 1-2-3 and Hangman Page retains! Okada swears and apologizes for everything and the commentary booth and promises to put White in his place. White slides back into the ring to help Hangman up and hands him his title. He then clearly kicks Punk out of the ring where KENTA again tries to attack until the security finally shows up to break up the two. White says something to Page who is confused about what happened, and then White throws up a Too-Sweet. Hangman glares at White, eyes the crowd, and then flips White the bird! Hangman begins yelling at White over his interference in his match and the two finally brawl, ending with Page hitting a Buckshot Lariat on White before the show goes to black. Going into Forbidden Door, Hangman says he wants another match with Punk, but first he needs a match with Jay White. On the other end, Punk is angry at both AEW and NJPW management for allowing a “New York finish” to his match while still declining a match with KENTA. KENTA again sneaks a Go 2 Sleep on him and Punk decides he does need to put an end to this before he gets his AEW title. Finally, since the AEW title will be defended against a NJPW star, Okada offers to defend his IWGP title against someone in AEW as well, but he wants one specific man: the American Dragon Bryan Danielson. Chris Jericho tries to worm his way into the card by demanding a singles match with Danielson with the winner getting Okada’s title shot offer, but Danielson beats Jericho one-on-one again to prove to the world and Okada that he deserves the match.
Quixotronic Bullpen Predictions:
Kyle: CM Punk - I want Page to retain, but I think they'll pull the trigger and put the belt on arguably the most popular/profitable worker in the company.
Andy: Adam Page
Tim: CM Punk
AEWxNJPW Forbidden Door 2022 : A Fanboy Fantasy
6-Man Tag Team Match : House of Black (Brody King, Buddy Matthews, & Malakai Black) vs House of Torture (EVIL, SHO, & Yujiro Takahashi)
Fanboy Fantasy: House of Black wins.
8-Man Tag Team Match : Eddie Kingston, Proud & Powerful (Ortiz & Santana), & Wardlow vs Suzuki-gun (Lance Archer, Minoru Suzuki, Taichi, & Zack Sabre Jr.)
Fanboy Fantasy: Suzuki-gun wins.
6-Woman Tag Team AEW/STARDOM hampions Match : Team AEW/ROH (Jade Cargill, Mercedes Martinez, & Thunder Rosa) vs Team STARDOM (Mayu Iwatani, Saya Kamitani, & Syuri)
Fanboy Fantasy: Team STARDOM defeat Team AEW/ROH after miscommunication.
2-Man CHAOS "Civil War" Match : Orange Cassidy vs Toru Yano
Fanboy Fantasy: Toru Yano wins, and its hilarious?
Andrade el Idolo vs Tetsuya Naito
Fanboy Fantasy: Andrade el Idolo shocks everyone and wins, sending Naito off to have eye surgery and making a statement for title opportunities in AEW (or NJPW?)
Hiroshi Tanahashi vs Jon Moxley
Fanboy Fantasy: Hiroshi Tanahashi defeats Jon Moxley, the two hug after the match.
12-Man Bullet Club Civil War Match : Bullet Club (Adam Cole, Bobby Fish, Doc Gallows, Juice Robinson, Karl Anderson, & Kyle O'Reilly) vs Elite (Kenny Omega, Matt Jackson, Nick Jackson, Robbie Eagles, Tama Tonga, & Tanga Loa)
Fanboy Fantasy: The returning Kenny Omega brings home the win by pinning Adam Cole.
CM Punk vs KENTA
Fanboy Fantasy: CM Punk defeats KENTA with his Go to Sleep and then sits down for commentary on the AEW World title match.
AEW World Title Match : Jay White vs Adam Page ©
Fanboy Fantasy: Jay White and Bullet Club defeat Adam Page to steal the AEW World title all while White demands to know why they didn't get the main event. CM Punk makes the save when Bullet Club try to beat down the Hangman.
IWGP World Heavyweight Title Match : Bryan Danielson vs Kazuchika Okada ©
Fanboy Fantasy: Bryan Danielson evens the odds and blows up wrestling Twitter by defeating Kazuchika Okada and bringing the IWGP World Heavyweight title to America. CM Punk immediately ignores Hangman Page to go after Jay White and Bryan Danielson's titles, causing Hangman to spiral a bit but to attack Punk more and more. While Punk claimed it was all business, Hangman is finally taking it all personally.
That's it for our preview and fantasy booking for AEW Double or Nothing 2022 and bonus proposed card for AEWxNJPW Forbidden Door 2022! I'm sure I'm way off with that card.
This is week 1 of a 6-week march through wrestling and we'll be back next week with WWE Hell in a Cell 2022 and to a much lesser extent NXT 2.0 In Your House 2022. Will we make it all the way to WWE Money in the Bank 2022 without missing a week? Hahahahaha probably not.
Please checkout a full season of all-fantasy Quixo booking with WWE 2021 : Quixo-WrestleMania 37, Quixo-Great American Bash 2021, and Quixo-SummerSlam 2021! What's better than some fantasy booking? All fantasy booking.